Not a bad weekend if you don't count the weather. It started out being a really nice Friday. Warm, in the mid-50's, sunny. The kind of day that just puts you in a good mood. I went to lunch with a friend and had a good time. It had been several months since we talked and it was nice to catch up.
Hit happy hour. Once again spent the evening talking with a friend who I have not seen in quite awhile. It was a good time. I miss sitting around with friends and just shooting the shit, laughing and drinking beer. I need to do that more often.
Saturday, the weather turned cooler. I spent the afternoon trying to get caught up on my dvr watching. I swear it does not take long for it to fill up. I want to make sure that it is empty before I leave for Florida next week. I only have a few shows left to watch.
Went to another friend's for dinner on Sat nite. She grilled a pork tenderloin and it was yummy. We sat around drinking wine and once again just shooting the shit.
Today, it was rainy, snowy, cold and windy outside. Went and ran a few errands in the morning but spent the day playing poker. Ended up only down about 3 bucks so not too bad. I just could not get cards. When I would have big starting hands the flop would totally miss me. I would try to bluff and get called on it. It seemed like the crappy hands were hitting the flop. I swear I'm going to start playing the 3 9 o. Have to review my strategy and figure out what I need to tweak.
The house next to me finally has an accepted offer. It has been on the market since before I moved in over a year ago. They started out trying to sell on their own but went with a realtor last summer. I am curious to see what it went for. My guess is about mid 150's. It started off at 200. I will now have to remember to close the drapes on that side of the house as the office window and my bedroom window is directly across from windows on their house. Also can't blow my snow on their yard anymore. I would blow all the snow from my driveway on to theirs. Didn't matter as no one ever shoveled it. Except the realtor. If I were him, I'd be pissed as he had to pretty much shovel the walk and driveway before every open house.
Only have two days this week for work. You know darn well they will go by very slowly. Hopefully, people will leave me alone so I can get my work done and not pile more crap on my plate.
Have a good week. Peace Out!
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Monday, March 02, 2009
Got That One Wrong
It is a good thing that I don't dress according to John Malan.
Wait, I did.
When I watched the news last nite at 10:18 pm, they said that a light dusting of snow by the lake. Maybe an inch or so. When I got up at 5:50 am, I seen something different. Like 7 inches of snow. I was pissed. I now had to change the clothes that I was wearing as I had to wear shoes that I could wear socks with. Going sockless not a good option when you have to trudge thru snow to get to the garage. (damn, I wish my garage was attached. I really miss that).
I turned on the tv to see what traffic was like. It didn't look too bad once I got on the other side of downtown. So off to work I left. Going over the Hoan was slow but not bad. Once I got to the other side of downtown the roads were wet. By time I got to the Zoo interchange. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. I took the truck out of 4 wheel drive. The sun was shining when I got to work.
I kept an eye on the weather from work. I didn't want to get caught in a mess driving home. So I left at noon and went home. The roads were fine until I got to my street which was not yet plowed. I worked most of the afternoon and after the plows went thru snowblowed. Went quick. I had thought of using the leaf blower. The snow was light, and the leaf blower would be easier to direct the snow with. If I could have gotten to the 100 ft. extension cord I just may have done that.
Let's see what happens tomorrow night. They called for a chance of snow showers Tuesday nite/Wednesday morning.
Wait, I did.
When I watched the news last nite at 10:18 pm, they said that a light dusting of snow by the lake. Maybe an inch or so. When I got up at 5:50 am, I seen something different. Like 7 inches of snow. I was pissed. I now had to change the clothes that I was wearing as I had to wear shoes that I could wear socks with. Going sockless not a good option when you have to trudge thru snow to get to the garage. (damn, I wish my garage was attached. I really miss that).
I turned on the tv to see what traffic was like. It didn't look too bad once I got on the other side of downtown. So off to work I left. Going over the Hoan was slow but not bad. Once I got to the other side of downtown the roads were wet. By time I got to the Zoo interchange. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. I took the truck out of 4 wheel drive. The sun was shining when I got to work.
I kept an eye on the weather from work. I didn't want to get caught in a mess driving home. So I left at noon and went home. The roads were fine until I got to my street which was not yet plowed. I worked most of the afternoon and after the plows went thru snowblowed. Went quick. I had thought of using the leaf blower. The snow was light, and the leaf blower would be easier to direct the snow with. If I could have gotten to the 100 ft. extension cord I just may have done that.
Let's see what happens tomorrow night. They called for a chance of snow showers Tuesday nite/Wednesday morning.
Sunday, March 01, 2009
The Good Mail
These are the kinds of things you like to get in the mail.
Dear Ms. W,
We are pleased to inform you that the results of your recent mammography examination are benign (not cancer).
Dear Ms. W,
We are pleased to inform you that the results of your recent mammography examination are benign (not cancer).
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Jumping for Your Heart
This is a shameless plug and a flat out request for donations.
As most of you already know, my husband passed away on Dec 6, 2008 from a massive heart attack at the very young age of 45. On Christmas morning, my mom was in the hospital having a heart attack. (yeah, it was a sucky Christmas this year).
Heart disease is something that runs in my mom's side of the family. Both of my uncles have had heart attacks and bypass surgery. I have had many a relative pass away from heart disease. Too many.
So... m nieces (ages 6 and 8) are doing a Jump Rope-a-thon for the American Heart Association.
This is a request to help support them in their quest.
To donate to Jayanna (age 6) click here.
To donate to Skylinn (age 8) click here.
Thanks in advance for your support!!!
The American Heart Association is a 501(c)3 organization which all donations to Jump Rope for Heart and Hoops for Heart are tax deductible. Everyone that makes an on-line contribution will instantly receive a confirmation e-mail that includes the amount donated along with the American Heart Association's Federal Tax ID #. Thanks for your support of the American Heart Association.
As most of you already know, my husband passed away on Dec 6, 2008 from a massive heart attack at the very young age of 45. On Christmas morning, my mom was in the hospital having a heart attack. (yeah, it was a sucky Christmas this year).
Heart disease is something that runs in my mom's side of the family. Both of my uncles have had heart attacks and bypass surgery. I have had many a relative pass away from heart disease. Too many.
So... m nieces (ages 6 and 8) are doing a Jump Rope-a-thon for the American Heart Association.
This is a request to help support them in their quest.
To donate to Jayanna (age 6) click here.
To donate to Skylinn (age 8) click here.
Thanks in advance for your support!!!
The American Heart Association is a 501(c)3 organization which all donations to Jump Rope for Heart and Hoops for Heart are tax deductible. Everyone that makes an on-line contribution will instantly receive a confirmation e-mail that includes the amount donated along with the American Heart Association's Federal Tax ID #. Thanks for your support of the American Heart Association.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Not A Winner
I got the email today.... I was optimistic when I seen the subject line "Thank you for entering the Opening Day ticket lottery" Then I read it...
Thank you for registering for a chance to purchase tickets for the Milwaukee Brewers Opening Day game, scheduled for April 10, 2009. Unfortunately, your entry was not selected for this ticket purchase opportunity.
I had also signed up with my 3 other email addresses as well as one of hubby's. None were a winner.
I guess that I have to hope that one of the other girls were winners so we can go to the game.
Thank you for registering for a chance to purchase tickets for the Milwaukee Brewers Opening Day game, scheduled for April 10, 2009. Unfortunately, your entry was not selected for this ticket purchase opportunity.
I had also signed up with my 3 other email addresses as well as one of hubby's. None were a winner.
I guess that I have to hope that one of the other girls were winners so we can go to the game.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Concerts Galore
There are several groups coming to town in the next few months that I would like to see.
The best one is Chris Cornell of Soundgarden and Audioslave. I first started liking him when I seen the Audioslave in Cuba concert dvd. He is hot and just rocks hard.
The Gsslight Anthem is here in early April as well. I love their song The '59 sound. They kinda remind me of the '80's group The Hooters.
At the end of April is Franz Ferdinad and the day after that is the Killers. Phish and Coldplay at Alpine Valley round out the list. And this is before Summerfest hits.
Anyone up for some music??
The best one is Chris Cornell of Soundgarden and Audioslave. I first started liking him when I seen the Audioslave in Cuba concert dvd. He is hot and just rocks hard.
The Gsslight Anthem is here in early April as well. I love their song The '59 sound. They kinda remind me of the '80's group The Hooters.
At the end of April is Franz Ferdinad and the day after that is the Killers. Phish and Coldplay at Alpine Valley round out the list. And this is before Summerfest hits.
Anyone up for some music??
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Simply Amazing
Tonight was the premiere of the new season of Amazing Race. It looks like once again it should be a great season.
I think my favorite team may be the mom and her deaf son. They are going to prove that you don't need to hear to do well.
The roadblock proved to be a doozy to start the season out. The teams had to bungee jump more than 700 feet from the second highest bungee in the world. Not sure I could have done it. It seems like the older I get the more freaked out over heights I get. I hate the upper deck in Camp Randall and the Bradley Center. When I was younger I thought nothing of doing back flips off the high dive in the pool or jumping off the roof of the chicken coop into the snow banks.
After that the teams had to move 200 lbs of cheese from the top of the hill to a rack at the bottom. I was busting a gut laughing at the teams who's carrier things broke and the cheese goes flying down the hill. Seems to me that would have been easier to do than hauling it down. The best was Linda and Steve from VA. They came up with a way to only make one trip and it worked out for them. They may prove to be annoying as Linda is not in very good shape. She can't run. You keep hearing Steve tell her to go faster. I was glad that they didn't finish last and will survive another week.
I spent most of the day (can you say almost 6 hours) cleaning out the basement. Heck I even vacuumed all the cobwebs from the rafters. I wanted to get rid of some of hubby's things and organize it better. When he moved back in we just kinda dumped it all in piles. I have 3 boxes and one bag of stuff for Goodwill. Now just have to figure out what to so with the extra set of pots and pans, silverware, toaster oven and the pizza oven. I will probably try to sell it on Craigslist. If you know of anyone who wants or needs them, let me know.
Have the day off tomorrow for President's Day. Gotta love those bank holidays. Since I now have another 10 vacation days to use (unfortunately, they are unpaid) I will try to take some random days off. Probably Mondays or Fridays. Heck, I could not work a full week from Memorial Day to Labor Day. I have the annual girl exam and am going to lunch with a friend. I also want hit Kohl's up. I have some bonus bucks to use and want to get some stuff for my trip to Florida next month.
Well, that's about all for now. Have a good week everyone.
I think my favorite team may be the mom and her deaf son. They are going to prove that you don't need to hear to do well.
The roadblock proved to be a doozy to start the season out. The teams had to bungee jump more than 700 feet from the second highest bungee in the world. Not sure I could have done it. It seems like the older I get the more freaked out over heights I get. I hate the upper deck in Camp Randall and the Bradley Center. When I was younger I thought nothing of doing back flips off the high dive in the pool or jumping off the roof of the chicken coop into the snow banks.
After that the teams had to move 200 lbs of cheese from the top of the hill to a rack at the bottom. I was busting a gut laughing at the teams who's carrier things broke and the cheese goes flying down the hill. Seems to me that would have been easier to do than hauling it down. The best was Linda and Steve from VA. They came up with a way to only make one trip and it worked out for them. They may prove to be annoying as Linda is not in very good shape. She can't run. You keep hearing Steve tell her to go faster. I was glad that they didn't finish last and will survive another week.
I spent most of the day (can you say almost 6 hours) cleaning out the basement. Heck I even vacuumed all the cobwebs from the rafters. I wanted to get rid of some of hubby's things and organize it better. When he moved back in we just kinda dumped it all in piles. I have 3 boxes and one bag of stuff for Goodwill. Now just have to figure out what to so with the extra set of pots and pans, silverware, toaster oven and the pizza oven. I will probably try to sell it on Craigslist. If you know of anyone who wants or needs them, let me know.
Have the day off tomorrow for President's Day. Gotta love those bank holidays. Since I now have another 10 vacation days to use (unfortunately, they are unpaid) I will try to take some random days off. Probably Mondays or Fridays. Heck, I could not work a full week from Memorial Day to Labor Day. I have the annual girl exam and am going to lunch with a friend. I also want hit Kohl's up. I have some bonus bucks to use and want to get some stuff for my trip to Florida next month.
Well, that's about all for now. Have a good week everyone.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
MN Recap
The last couple of days have been busy.
Work has been nuts the past few days. Being in the same location as most other people I work with is good because you get to sit down face to face with people and work things out. I am not convinced that this project I'm working on is headed in the right direction. There are ALOT of things that were 'lost' in the original requirements and the statement of work that we are now working from. One bomb shell was dropped yesterday that I consider a show stopper. All I can do is express my concerns and if others choose to ignore them... oh well...
Got my review yesterday. I was pleasantly surprised. I ended up with a 4.55% raise and my bonus was actually doubled from last year. It is good to know that my hard work over the last year has been appreciated. This has made me a happy camper.
Bad news is that today they announce that everyone will take two weeks off unpaid as a cost savings measure. I think that they will implement this by taking a portion of the time off out of each paycheck. You then don't miss an entire paycheck. You are shorted about 2 hours a week. I only had one vacation day left that was not planned for. I now have at least another 5 and maybe another 10. Can't complain that I will end up with 6 weeks of vacation. Bottom line the raise I got will probably not be actually seen on my check. Oh well.... at least I still have a job.
Hit the Mall of America again the past two evenings for dinner. Last night, was Tiger Sushi. YUMMY!!! Hubby never cared for sushi so we never went to places like that to eat. I had the number 10zen maki roll. It was shrimp tempura, garlic chile mayo and mango on the inside. Outside was smoked salmon, unagi (which is eel), avocado, sushi rice, spicy mango sauce, unago sauce and toasted sesame seeds. It was soooo good.
Tonight was Ruby Tuesday's. Also good but nothing special.
After dinner we went to the Underwater Aquarium. Very cool. I took a bunch of pictures with my BlackBerry. You will have to wait until I get home to take them off my phone. You walked thru this tunnel so that you can see all around you. The sharks were really neat. They swam only a few inches from you
Survivor started its new season. I have Debbie Beebe from Timbira and Sandy Burgin from Jalapao. I was sure that Sandy was going home. Didn't happen, so I was happy. I hate it when my people are the first to go.
I head back home tomorrow. Don't fly out until 5:20 pm. I can't wait to get home. I miss the dogs. It sounds like they have been good.
Hope you all have had a good week.
Work has been nuts the past few days. Being in the same location as most other people I work with is good because you get to sit down face to face with people and work things out. I am not convinced that this project I'm working on is headed in the right direction. There are ALOT of things that were 'lost' in the original requirements and the statement of work that we are now working from. One bomb shell was dropped yesterday that I consider a show stopper. All I can do is express my concerns and if others choose to ignore them... oh well...
Got my review yesterday. I was pleasantly surprised. I ended up with a 4.55% raise and my bonus was actually doubled from last year. It is good to know that my hard work over the last year has been appreciated. This has made me a happy camper.
Bad news is that today they announce that everyone will take two weeks off unpaid as a cost savings measure. I think that they will implement this by taking a portion of the time off out of each paycheck. You then don't miss an entire paycheck. You are shorted about 2 hours a week. I only had one vacation day left that was not planned for. I now have at least another 5 and maybe another 10. Can't complain that I will end up with 6 weeks of vacation. Bottom line the raise I got will probably not be actually seen on my check. Oh well.... at least I still have a job.
Hit the Mall of America again the past two evenings for dinner. Last night, was Tiger Sushi. YUMMY!!! Hubby never cared for sushi so we never went to places like that to eat. I had the number 10zen maki roll. It was shrimp tempura, garlic chile mayo and mango on the inside. Outside was smoked salmon, unagi (which is eel), avocado, sushi rice, spicy mango sauce, unago sauce and toasted sesame seeds. It was soooo good.
Tonight was Ruby Tuesday's. Also good but nothing special.
After dinner we went to the Underwater Aquarium. Very cool. I took a bunch of pictures with my BlackBerry. You will have to wait until I get home to take them off my phone. You walked thru this tunnel so that you can see all around you. The sharks were really neat. They swam only a few inches from you
Survivor started its new season. I have Debbie Beebe from Timbira and Sandy Burgin from Jalapao. I was sure that Sandy was going home. Didn't happen, so I was happy. I hate it when my people are the first to go.
I head back home tomorrow. Don't fly out until 5:20 pm. I can't wait to get home. I miss the dogs. It sounds like they have been good.
Hope you all have had a good week.
Monday, February 09, 2009
Life in MN Day 1
I'm up in MN this week for work. Thanks to A for getting me to the airport with time to spare. Can there be anything more boring than sitting there waiting for your flight to board?? Nope.
Got up here and settled into the hotel by about 5pm. Unpacked and checked out the local restaurant menus. Decided that I did not feel like driving anywhere so just walked thru the building to the TGI Fridays. Take a seat in the bar and look at the menu and watch the Pro Bowl. I look around and discover another person from work there. He sits like 6 seats away from me in the office. I grab my beer and sit down next to him. We order food and more beers. Blue Moon was the special of the month so there were only 3 bucks. Whoo hoo. I had a nice time getting to know a co-worker that I really never knew before. After about 5 beers I decided that it was time to head back. I wanted to have a clear head for the long day today.
Got into the office about 8 am. Spent the next hour trying to get a pc that could remote into my workstation in the office. I soooo wanted to head off to a coffee shop where I could just use my laptop and be done with it.
The building is home to about 2500 people or so. They have a cafeteria. It is good. Real food not vend-o-matic stuff I have back at the home office. Today I settled on the salad bar. All sorts of yummy stuff.
After lunch we start the training class that I am up here for. After about 15 minutes, the instructor realizes that I am the one who knows what is going on and the other 3 people will have no clue. We spend the next several hours going over the material. This is my element. I am geek and love the geeky stuff like this.
After work headed over to the Mall of America for dinner. My former now demoted boss is here as well so we went together. Ate at Bubba Gumps. Yep that Bubba Gumps. It was fantastic. I highly recommend it if you get to one.
May try to hit trivia at the mall tomorrow nite. Could be fun.
Wandered around the mall a bit more and headed back to the hotel. I did not sleep real well last nite so want to hit the hay early.
Got up here and settled into the hotel by about 5pm. Unpacked and checked out the local restaurant menus. Decided that I did not feel like driving anywhere so just walked thru the building to the TGI Fridays. Take a seat in the bar and look at the menu and watch the Pro Bowl. I look around and discover another person from work there. He sits like 6 seats away from me in the office. I grab my beer and sit down next to him. We order food and more beers. Blue Moon was the special of the month so there were only 3 bucks. Whoo hoo. I had a nice time getting to know a co-worker that I really never knew before. After about 5 beers I decided that it was time to head back. I wanted to have a clear head for the long day today.
Got into the office about 8 am. Spent the next hour trying to get a pc that could remote into my workstation in the office. I soooo wanted to head off to a coffee shop where I could just use my laptop and be done with it.
The building is home to about 2500 people or so. They have a cafeteria. It is good. Real food not vend-o-matic stuff I have back at the home office. Today I settled on the salad bar. All sorts of yummy stuff.
After lunch we start the training class that I am up here for. After about 15 minutes, the instructor realizes that I am the one who knows what is going on and the other 3 people will have no clue. We spend the next several hours going over the material. This is my element. I am geek and love the geeky stuff like this.
After work headed over to the Mall of America for dinner. My former now demoted boss is here as well so we went together. Ate at Bubba Gumps. Yep that Bubba Gumps. It was fantastic. I highly recommend it if you get to one.
May try to hit trivia at the mall tomorrow nite. Could be fun.
Wandered around the mall a bit more and headed back to the hotel. I did not sleep real well last nite so want to hit the hay early.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Size What??
About two weeks ago, I was heading out to the local mall. I have a ring that I needed to have resized. It is my favorite ring. It is a three stone LeVian piece that had a tanzanite as the center stone and two diamonds on each side. The lady at the store took my information and said that it would be ready today.
Last night, I get home from work and there is a message on my machine to call the jeweler back. They need to 'talk' to me about the ring. My first thought is "Fuck, they lost it."
So I call them back. The girl said that the ring would not be ready to pick up as they have not sized it yet. What?? Why, I ask. When I dropped it off they said that they would size it in house as it is a simple task. Because it is a LeVian piece it come with a lifetime guarantee for any repairs or sizing. It turns out that if the jeweler resizes it the LeVian warranty becomes void.
So, now they have to send it out to LeVian to be resized. It will be back in 4-5 weeks. WTF???
My question is why did they wait almost two weeks to even look at it and then decide the night before I was going to pick it up that they could not do it. When I dropped it off I even asked them if they were sending it out to LeVian to be resized and was specifically told that they weren't.
Maybe I will be lucky enough to get it back before I head to Florida in March. sigh......
Last night, I get home from work and there is a message on my machine to call the jeweler back. They need to 'talk' to me about the ring. My first thought is "Fuck, they lost it."
So I call them back. The girl said that the ring would not be ready to pick up as they have not sized it yet. What?? Why, I ask. When I dropped it off they said that they would size it in house as it is a simple task. Because it is a LeVian piece it come with a lifetime guarantee for any repairs or sizing. It turns out that if the jeweler resizes it the LeVian warranty becomes void.
So, now they have to send it out to LeVian to be resized. It will be back in 4-5 weeks. WTF???
My question is why did they wait almost two weeks to even look at it and then decide the night before I was going to pick it up that they could not do it. When I dropped it off I even asked them if they were sending it out to LeVian to be resized and was specifically told that they weren't.
Maybe I will be lucky enough to get it back before I head to Florida in March. sigh......
Should a Three Year Old Watch Childbirth??
Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby.
Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked.
Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry.
The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.
Kathleen quickly responded, 'He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place ....smack his ass again!'
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Breakin' the Law, Breakin' the Law
I recently got a nasty gram in the mail from the library. Who knew that they even sent these out anymore?!?!
Yes, I know I have had the book now for almost 7 weeks but it was over 600 pages. I did finally finish it up last night. The first three weeks I had it, I wasn't much in the mood for reading anything.
So I returned it Monday morning on my way to work. When I looked online later this afternoon, I owed $2.80. Oops. I guess I have to pay it before I can check out any more books.
Good thing I only have one that I am waiting one book from there. I was 73 of 294 holds. I got a ways to go before I get the book.
Monday, January 26, 2009
To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
- At Lunch Time, sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
- Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice
- Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask 'Do you want fries with that?'
- Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
- In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write 'For Marijuana'
- Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
- Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
- Specify That Your Drive-thru Order Is 'To Go'.
- Sing Along At The Opera.
- Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
- When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
- When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
- Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity - Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is. (this is even funnier if you are a gal and do this)
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Think Spring, Think Spring, Think Spring
As I type it is a balmy 6 degrees out.
Just keeping thinking that it is only 19 days and a little over 13 hours until Brewer's pitchers and catchers report for spring training. And only one month till their first game.
That must mean that warmer weather is right around the corner... right?? They aren't called the Boys of Summer for nothing??
Just keeping thinking that it is only 19 days and a little over 13 hours until Brewer's pitchers and catchers report for spring training. And only one month till their first game.
That must mean that warmer weather is right around the corner... right?? They aren't called the Boys of Summer for nothing??
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
Shameless Plug
One of our fellow bloggers, Kris, of Stitch's Playground fame, is once again participating in the Leukemia & Lymphoma's Team in Training triathlon. This year she is running in the Capital of Texas Olympic distance triathlon on May 25, 2009.
Yes, she may be crazy to do this in the Texas heat. At least it is not in the middle of summer. She is swimming 1.5 k (almost a mile!), 40 k (25 miles) bike ride and followed by a 10 k (6.3 miles) run.
Please help support her in reaching her goal. You can click here to reach her triathlon home page. I know that she will appreciate your support.
Yes, she may be crazy to do this in the Texas heat. At least it is not in the middle of summer. She is swimming 1.5 k (almost a mile!), 40 k (25 miles) bike ride and followed by a 10 k (6.3 miles) run.
Please help support her in reaching her goal. You can click here to reach her triathlon home page. I know that she will appreciate your support.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
WTF??
Nothing beats the 4:52 am page from work after you get home from an evening out drinking with friends at 2:00 am.
I ended up being up until about 9:30 am, still half drunk... Slept for a few more hours
Missed lunch with friends and now my body is all out whack. ggrrrrrr....
I ended up being up until about 9:30 am, still half drunk... Slept for a few more hours
Missed lunch with friends and now my body is all out whack. ggrrrrrr....
Friday, January 16, 2009
Ice Fishing Blonde
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.
Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole.
Again from the heavens the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of the ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her hole.
The voice came once more, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
She stopped, looked skyward! and said, "IS THAT YOU LORD?"
The voice replied, "NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE HOCKEY RINK!"
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Rockin' Out
Went to the Metallica concert last night. It was really good. I liked it more than I thought I would. You can read StB's review here. It was a good time had by all. I thought for sure that M was going to hit the guy in front of us with his air drum playing.
My neck, thighs and feet are still sore. My thighs and feet are sore from the boots I had on. So get your mind outta the gutter..... While they looked good, not always practical to wear 3"+ heels when trying to rock out. Neck is just sore from the head banging.
It was fun to people watch. The crowd was a mix of young people, older people and parents who brought their pre-teen kids. When I stopped at the place where I take my truck, this morning, one of the mechanics was at the show and he said he had a great time. He was in his 50's. He and his wife went with their 26 year old son and girlfriend. He said that it took them almost an hour to get out of the parking structure. Good thinking on StB's part got us street parking a few blocks away. Easy in...easy out.
I should have brought my regular camera as pictures on my BlackBerry did not turn out as well as I hoped. Enjoy the pics.
The laser show to start the concert.
The coffins had lights on them and they moved up and down during the show.
A close up of the coffins as they were moving around.
My neck, thighs and feet are still sore. My thighs and feet are sore from the boots I had on. So get your mind outta the gutter..... While they looked good, not always practical to wear 3"+ heels when trying to rock out. Neck is just sore from the head banging.
It was fun to people watch. The crowd was a mix of young people, older people and parents who brought their pre-teen kids. When I stopped at the place where I take my truck, this morning, one of the mechanics was at the show and he said he had a great time. He was in his 50's. He and his wife went with their 26 year old son and girlfriend. He said that it took them almost an hour to get out of the parking structure. Good thinking on StB's part got us street parking a few blocks away. Easy in...easy out.
I should have brought my regular camera as pictures on my BlackBerry did not turn out as well as I hoped. Enjoy the pics.
The laser show to start the concert.
The coffins had lights on them and they moved up and down during the show.
A close up of the coffins as they were moving around.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Claude
It was entertainment night at the Senior Center and over 300 seniors came to see the show.
Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: 'I'm here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.'
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat 'I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations'
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, 'Watch the watch, watch the watch, and watch the watch...'
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
'SHIT!' said the Hypnotist.
It took three days to clean up the Senior Center.
Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: 'I'm here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.'
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat 'I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations'
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, 'Watch the watch, watch the watch, and watch the watch...'
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
'SHIT!' said the Hypnotist.
It took three days to clean up the Senior Center.
Monday, January 05, 2009
Back in the Saddle
Today was the first day for most people to be back at work. I went back to the office last week but didn't really work too hard as there was no one around.
Today that changed. Everyone who needed stuff done today bombarded our inbox. I got busy and before I knew it, it was time for lunch. Back to work and the day was done.
it was a bit awkward for people to see me who I literally have not seen in more than a month. Some knew that hubby had passed away and others not. They just knew I had been gone a long time. Everyone was really nice and offered kind words. It made going back easier.
I did find out that the guy who sits across from me had his own scary time for the past month. He and his wife adopted a little boy about 2 months ago. The first part of Dec, they got a letter saying that the birth mom (BM) now wanted the baby back. They were devastated. Turns out BM is a bit psycho and birth dad (BD) had dumped BM and she thought that she could get BD back if the baby was back in the picture. They found out last Friday that the adoption was all good and that the BM can not get the baby back. I was happy for them. He did say that they will no longer have any contact with her after she pulled that. I don't blame him. That is just pure psycho bitch....
I have been trying to spend the last couple of days just getting things organized in the house. The mess is making me crazy. I do not like clutter. It drives me up a wall. Tonight, I got most of my desk cleaned off. Filed stuff away for taxes, insurance papers, receipts... all that fun stuff. I ended up with a full paper bag of shredded bits for recycling. Damn near burned the shredder out. I will feel more settled once I can get the basement and spare room cleaned up. It just takes time. I have some stuff I want to sell on either ebay or Craigslist. If you know someone who can use a good set of Oneida flatware or a set of Chicago Cutlery knives, let me know.
Have a good week all. Peace out.
Today that changed. Everyone who needed stuff done today bombarded our inbox. I got busy and before I knew it, it was time for lunch. Back to work and the day was done.
it was a bit awkward for people to see me who I literally have not seen in more than a month. Some knew that hubby had passed away and others not. They just knew I had been gone a long time. Everyone was really nice and offered kind words. It made going back easier.
I did find out that the guy who sits across from me had his own scary time for the past month. He and his wife adopted a little boy about 2 months ago. The first part of Dec, they got a letter saying that the birth mom (BM) now wanted the baby back. They were devastated. Turns out BM is a bit psycho and birth dad (BD) had dumped BM and she thought that she could get BD back if the baby was back in the picture. They found out last Friday that the adoption was all good and that the BM can not get the baby back. I was happy for them. He did say that they will no longer have any contact with her after she pulled that. I don't blame him. That is just pure psycho bitch....
I have been trying to spend the last couple of days just getting things organized in the house. The mess is making me crazy. I do not like clutter. It drives me up a wall. Tonight, I got most of my desk cleaned off. Filed stuff away for taxes, insurance papers, receipts... all that fun stuff. I ended up with a full paper bag of shredded bits for recycling. Damn near burned the shredder out. I will feel more settled once I can get the basement and spare room cleaned up. It just takes time. I have some stuff I want to sell on either ebay or Craigslist. If you know someone who can use a good set of Oneida flatware or a set of Chicago Cutlery knives, let me know.
Have a good week all. Peace out.
Sunday, January 04, 2009
Philly Sun
Thanks to a girl I work with, I am now hooked on the show, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. It is freaking hilarious.
I have just finished watching season 1. It is too funny. I love how every episode Charlie, Dennis and Mac get into some calamity. One of the funniest is when Dennis runs over Charlie and Charlie is in a wheelchair. Charlie figures out that it is a good way to get chicks until Frank goes over the top of him and the rest of the gang pretends to be cripples as well. Mac and Dennis go to the mall in wheelchairs and then end up in fight. Way too funny.
Danny DeVito is just a riot. The music reminds me of Leave it to Beaver.
I really have to make a point to watch this when the new season starts.
I have just finished watching season 1. It is too funny. I love how every episode Charlie, Dennis and Mac get into some calamity. One of the funniest is when Dennis runs over Charlie and Charlie is in a wheelchair. Charlie figures out that it is a good way to get chicks until Frank goes over the top of him and the rest of the gang pretends to be cripples as well. Mac and Dennis go to the mall in wheelchairs and then end up in fight. Way too funny.
Danny DeVito is just a riot. The music reminds me of Leave it to Beaver.
I really have to make a point to watch this when the new season starts.
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Ringing in the New Year
I'm glad that 2008 is over with. Time to put the year that was not very good behind me and move forward.
2008 seen alot of changes in my life. Some I planned for and many I did not. I don't want to reflect on the past year. You can read the archives if you want to see what has gone on.
I have learned that I am stronger than I ever knew I was. It has been a difficult path to learn (and I am still learning) this but in the end I will come out stronger.
I have learned that my friends mean the world to me. They have been there with the comforting word, the shoulder to lean on and hugs to keep me going. The occasional beer or ten also helped. Thank you for everything. I could not have gotten thru this past month without you guys.
Last evening was spent with afore mentioned good friends. Wine was drunk, food (no one will ever accuse this group of running out of food) eaten and good times were remembered. We had fun playing Scattergories and Farkle. Who knew that the word Farkle could be used in so many ways.
I look forward to the new year bringing many more wonderful camping trips, poker playing parties and spending time with good friends.
I hope that 2009 brings all of you, my friends, everything you desire and more.
Peace out.
2008 seen alot of changes in my life. Some I planned for and many I did not. I don't want to reflect on the past year. You can read the archives if you want to see what has gone on.
I have learned that I am stronger than I ever knew I was. It has been a difficult path to learn (and I am still learning) this but in the end I will come out stronger.
I have learned that my friends mean the world to me. They have been there with the comforting word, the shoulder to lean on and hugs to keep me going. The occasional beer or ten also helped. Thank you for everything. I could not have gotten thru this past month without you guys.
Last evening was spent with afore mentioned good friends. Wine was drunk, food (no one will ever accuse this group of running out of food) eaten and good times were remembered. We had fun playing Scattergories and Farkle. Who knew that the word Farkle could be used in so many ways.
I look forward to the new year bringing many more wonderful camping trips, poker playing parties and spending time with good friends.
I hope that 2009 brings all of you, my friends, everything you desire and more.
Peace out.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Seething
Why would Seether tour with Nickelback?? I love Seether... hate Nickelback, with a passion!!!!
A girl I work with had asked a while ago if I wanted to go, I said only if I can leave after Seether is over. She didn't think it was as funny as I did.
Seether is touring with Staind for some shows in Jan and with 3 Doors Down for a few shows in Feb.... Why, oh why could they not come to Milwaukee with either one of those bands???
A girl I work with had asked a while ago if I wanted to go, I said only if I can leave after Seether is over. She didn't think it was as funny as I did.
Seether is touring with Staind for some shows in Jan and with 3 Doors Down for a few shows in Feb.... Why, oh why could they not come to Milwaukee with either one of those bands???
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Mom Update
I talked to my mom awhile ago. She came home from the hospital. They told her she could go home early this afternoon but by time they got all the paperwork and stuff together it was after 6:00pm.
She is feeling good. They sent her home with like 8 new meds and has to go back for bloodwork every couple of days due to one of the meds.
They did tell her that she needed to stop smoking, get more exercise and eat a low fat diet. She is going to have to go thru some cardiac rehab stuff.
One thing I am learning is that the body is a very delicate machine. If you upset the balance of one thing it can impact other areas. Take hubby... they listed the cause of his death as hypertension. One of the leading causes of hypertension is sleep apnea, which is triggered by him being overweight. If you lose weight, it puts less strain on the heart which in turn helps with the sleep apnea. I have started to be more careful with my eating choices lately. I have lost like 10 lbs in the past month. I need to get my ass in gear and start exercising more.
She is feeling good. They sent her home with like 8 new meds and has to go back for bloodwork every couple of days due to one of the meds.
They did tell her that she needed to stop smoking, get more exercise and eat a low fat diet. She is going to have to go thru some cardiac rehab stuff.
One thing I am learning is that the body is a very delicate machine. If you upset the balance of one thing it can impact other areas. Take hubby... they listed the cause of his death as hypertension. One of the leading causes of hypertension is sleep apnea, which is triggered by him being overweight. If you lose weight, it puts less strain on the heart which in turn helps with the sleep apnea. I have started to be more careful with my eating choices lately. I have lost like 10 lbs in the past month. I need to get my ass in gear and start exercising more.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
What Else??
Merry Christmas to all my friends. I wish you peace and love.
It has been an interesting couple of days. Some good, some bad, and lots of it sad.
I continued a Christmas Eve tradition and went to dinner with P&K. Ever since they sold the bar, Hubby and I would go to dinner with them. It was always a nice time. We continued that last evening and went to Outback. Food was good and should have passed on the dessert, even tho' the raspberry cheesecake was yummy.
After dinner, I (and a bottle of Riesling) walked across the street to my neighbor's and some old friends. We played a couple of games. I had a really good time. It felt good to get out and talk and laugh again. Even if for a little while. It was such a nice evening spent with friends. I have not felt that good in a the past month.
Then came the phone call about 5:30 am. It is never good news when the phone rings at that time. My mom was having chest pains. She went into the ER right away. I got up and got the dogs moving and outside. Was at the hospital by about 7:00. She was in alot of discomfort. Her right arm felt funny and her jaw was really sore.
By about 10:30 am she was stable and sleeping so I took my two youngest nieces back to my house. I had to wrap presents yet and the kids were getting antsy. Around noon we went back to the farm. We ate a bit and opened presents. Somehow it just wasn't the same. I was tired and with the smoke in the house and it being so damn hot in there, I took the boys home about 4:30 pm.
Dad and sis went back up to the hospital later. Some of the test results had come back and her cardiac enzymes were all out of whack so they did a cardiac cath on her about 6:30 or so. The doctors put in two stents in where they did the bypass a few years ago. She also has another valve that is leaking. She is resting now and will be out of it most of the night.
Tomorrow she will be having a echo cardiogram done and some other tests that my sister couldn't remember the name of. Depending on the results, she may have more surgery tomorrow again.
My dad is taking this pretty hard. He is still weak from his chemo and radiation and the past few weeks have not been easy on him as well. I worry about him.
I am exhausted both physically and mentally. I have to go into work tomorrow to take care of some insurance stuff. I really just want to crawl into bed under the covers and come out in about 3 months.
It has been an interesting couple of days. Some good, some bad, and lots of it sad.
I continued a Christmas Eve tradition and went to dinner with P&K. Ever since they sold the bar, Hubby and I would go to dinner with them. It was always a nice time. We continued that last evening and went to Outback. Food was good and should have passed on the dessert, even tho' the raspberry cheesecake was yummy.
After dinner, I (and a bottle of Riesling) walked across the street to my neighbor's and some old friends. We played a couple of games. I had a really good time. It felt good to get out and talk and laugh again. Even if for a little while. It was such a nice evening spent with friends. I have not felt that good in a the past month.
Then came the phone call about 5:30 am. It is never good news when the phone rings at that time. My mom was having chest pains. She went into the ER right away. I got up and got the dogs moving and outside. Was at the hospital by about 7:00. She was in alot of discomfort. Her right arm felt funny and her jaw was really sore.
By about 10:30 am she was stable and sleeping so I took my two youngest nieces back to my house. I had to wrap presents yet and the kids were getting antsy. Around noon we went back to the farm. We ate a bit and opened presents. Somehow it just wasn't the same. I was tired and with the smoke in the house and it being so damn hot in there, I took the boys home about 4:30 pm.
Dad and sis went back up to the hospital later. Some of the test results had come back and her cardiac enzymes were all out of whack so they did a cardiac cath on her about 6:30 or so. The doctors put in two stents in where they did the bypass a few years ago. She also has another valve that is leaking. She is resting now and will be out of it most of the night.
Tomorrow she will be having a echo cardiogram done and some other tests that my sister couldn't remember the name of. Depending on the results, she may have more surgery tomorrow again.
My dad is taking this pretty hard. He is still weak from his chemo and radiation and the past few weeks have not been easy on him as well. I worry about him.
I am exhausted both physically and mentally. I have to go into work tomorrow to take care of some insurance stuff. I really just want to crawl into bed under the covers and come out in about 3 months.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Can't Stop the Crappy Christmas Decorations
Even two feet of snow over the past week can't keep that damn blow up musical piece of crap Christmas decoration down. They dug the damn thing out of the snow today. I swear, even tho' it is 4 houses away I can hear the music in the house.
I really have no need to hear freakin' Christmas music at 11:00pm or 5:00am when I take the dogs outside. Have these people never heard of a timer?? I would so be calling the cops if I lived next door to them.
I really have no need to hear freakin' Christmas music at 11:00pm or 5:00am when I take the dogs outside. Have these people never heard of a timer?? I would so be calling the cops if I lived next door to them.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
How Not To Get Rid Of All The Snow
Yes, we have had alot of snow in the past few weeks. Here is a story of how NOT to get rid of the snow.
Let this be a lesson to all of you....
Fire officials in New Bedford, Mass., say a man using a blowtorch to melt ice on his back porch ended up setting his house on fire, causing up to $30,000 in damage.
Fire Capt. Scott Kruger tells The Standard-Times of New Bedford that no on was injured during Monday's incident at the three-story home.
Kruger says the man was using a torch hooked up to a 20-pound propane cylinder. He got too close to the building's wood frame and ignited the vinyl siding. The fire quickly spread into the building's second- and third-floor apartments.
It took 25 firefighters to subdue the blaze that damaged bedrooms in the upstairs units, and caused damage to the structure and wiring.
The homeowner will not be charged.
Let this be a lesson to all of you....
Fire officials in New Bedford, Mass., say a man using a blowtorch to melt ice on his back porch ended up setting his house on fire, causing up to $30,000 in damage.
Fire Capt. Scott Kruger tells The Standard-Times of New Bedford that no on was injured during Monday's incident at the three-story home.
Kruger says the man was using a torch hooked up to a 20-pound propane cylinder. He got too close to the building's wood frame and ignited the vinyl siding. The fire quickly spread into the building's second- and third-floor apartments.
It took 25 firefighters to subdue the blaze that damaged bedrooms in the upstairs units, and caused damage to the structure and wiring.
The homeowner will not be charged.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Prison Break
I think this would be something Boomer would do. I am just glad the little guy didn't get hurt when jumping out. I also love the looks on the other dogs faces when they realize he escaped.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
How??
Randy, how do I go on? Knowing that you are gone. Things may not have been the best between us lately but I never stopped loving you. I never got to say that one more time. This wasn't supposed to work out this way. My heart is breaking and I don't know if it will ever heal.
You went doing something that you loved. Playing poker. I never did go back online to see how you finished in that game.
I'm only 39. I'm not supposed to be burying my husband. That wasn't in the plan. Not now.
I know that you are now watching over me. With Teddy and Muggy. With your mom and dad. With Big Dave, Pat, Scott, Randy and so many others.
I'll be ok. Our friends and family are helping me get thru this. I willl never forget that. They have no idea what this means to me.
Rufus, Riley and Boomer miss you so much. Where will Boomer get his crumbs to eat? Riley just seems sad. Rufus keeps sitting on the rug by the door. Waiting for you to walk thru that door. Instead, you can be there waiting for him at the rainbow bridge. The boys are also helping keep me from losing it. I hug them and feel better.
I love you. I will miss you.
You went doing something that you loved. Playing poker. I never did go back online to see how you finished in that game.
I'm only 39. I'm not supposed to be burying my husband. That wasn't in the plan. Not now.
I know that you are now watching over me. With Teddy and Muggy. With your mom and dad. With Big Dave, Pat, Scott, Randy and so many others.
I'll be ok. Our friends and family are helping me get thru this. I willl never forget that. They have no idea what this means to me.
Rufus, Riley and Boomer miss you so much. Where will Boomer get his crumbs to eat? Riley just seems sad. Rufus keeps sitting on the rug by the door. Waiting for you to walk thru that door. Instead, you can be there waiting for him at the rainbow bridge. The boys are also helping keep me from losing it. I hug them and feel better.
I love you. I will miss you.
A Christmas Story for People Having a Bad Day
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the cider and hidden the liquor.
In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree . . . .
Monday, December 01, 2008
Mumbai Attacks
To preface the following....
I received the following email from a co-worker who is friends with the author. I have removed some of the identifying pieces of the email to protect his privacy. I think that would have been just terrifying. Thank goodness they were all ok. Here is his story.....
For those of you who don't know, I was on a layover at the Oberoi Trident hotel in Mumbai when the attacks occurred there last Wednesday night. Some of my memory of some of this is sketchy but here's what I remember.
Had a great, uneventful layover...the usual, massage, lunch at Trishna etc. Napped from about six pm to 9 pm. I received my 9:50 pm wakeup call from reception, reminding me of my 10:50 pm pickup time. I left my room for the lobby about 10:35 and saw one of my flight attendants standing at the elevator bank. He said the elevators for some reason weren't working and that his calls from the house phone adjacent to them was going unanswered. My initial reaction was "Oh God, am I going to have to carry all my bags down stairs???".
I was heading back to my room to try calling from my room's phone when we heard a tremendous explosion that shook the building. We were on the 18th floor, and unaware of what was happening in the lobby and outside the hotel. I ran to my room and dialed reception, and again, no answer. I went back out into the hallway to see what we were going to decide to do when we heard another huge explosion followed by very loud screams. At first I thought that an elevator had fallen as the screams seemed to come from the elevator shafts.
Suddenly doors in the hallway were opening and heads were sticking out wondering what was going on. All of a sudden a young woman comes out and starts banging on other doors in the hallway screaming that the hotel was being attacked. Apparently she saw it on TV. My coworker and I ran into my room and turned on the television and on one of the local channels it was being reported that there were "firings" outside of some hotels. It was running across the bottom of the screen but the TV still had regular programming on. I wasn't sure what they meant by firings, but I couldn't help but wonder if that is what the explosions were. Everyone was confused about what to do, but my coworker said he was going to go down the stairway adjacent to the elevators to see if it was safe to get out. He was turned back by hotel staff several flights down.
By this time I had that hall crowd of people in my room watching the news on TV that attacks were being carried out at several locations in the city. All of a sudden one of the women who was a flight attendant got a call on her PDA and screamed that the hotel was on fire and we had to get out. Although we didn't know it at the time, it was actually the Taj Hotel on fire. But we decided to head down the stairs.
Instinctively, I grabbed my passport, crew badge, wallet, and cash, and locked my luggage in my room. Some of the women were crying but it was orderly going down. Strangely nobody from above followed the 16 of us. We made it to the pool level which is on the rooftop of the third floor, but the all the glass doors to the outside areas were locked. That floor also has banquet and meeting rooms and we found all the doors locked.
Inside the ladies room the towels are cloth, so we grabbed a bunch of them and wet them in case we had to breathe through smoke. But we hadn't smelled any if the hotel was indeed on fire. We were trying to figure out where to go at that point when we encountered a hotel security guard.
He WHISPERED (which began to scare me even more) for us to stay there as there was an "incident" in the lobby. We cut through a linen tied to the insides of large bronze handles of the doors to one of the banquet rooms. He told us to be very very quiet, and to stay there until someone came to get us. He also told us to stay on the floor. We were in that room for over an hour, and several of the crewmembers with us had PDA's, and were getting information from outside sources, so we learned the situation was not good.
Eventually hiding in the dark there, we barricaded the door with a large table and waited.....then we heard voices. My heart I swear stopped for a few seconds. We were all on the floor holding hands, praying, some were crying softly etc... . Turned out to be that same security man. He was like he was sent from heaven. He said there were men here to help us evacuate. There were about a half dozen guys in camo with large automatic rifles. We were then led through a long set of offices, storage areas etc, until eventually we came out into a mezzanine level in the lobby through the hotel's business center.
There was a Van Cleef and Arpels store and a Brioni men's clothing store and all the windows were shattered, as were all the windows to the outside. Apparently grenades had been thrown in some lobby areas. There was glass EVERYWHERE! They told us to stay closely together, and QUIETLY but quickly follow them. But every time we encountered a turn in the hallway, or an open area, they halted us and the military guys aimed their rifles in all directions. We had to descend a large staircase into the open main lobby of the hotel, and RUN past the front desk, the concierge, and out the main doors. There was not ONE window intact, there was blood everywhere, and the restaurant called Opium Den next to the elevators had at least a dozen bullet holes in the glass. Apparently several people were killed there.
Everywhere we stepped there was glass.....on the furniture, the carpeting, the marble floors...everywhere. There were also NO people....anywhere. The huge glass doors to the main entrance were reduced to about six inches deep of glass pieces similar to a windshield break. It wasn't like sheet glass. It was weird. So we didn't have to open any doors to get out. We were halted in the entrance area and the rifle men repositioned.
That was perhaps the most terrifying part. Not knowing where the bad guys with guns and grenades were, or if we were going to get shot from someplace or somebody that was hiding. We ran across the street and up about three blocks to a movie theater complex's parking ramp where we were in! the company of several hundred people....guests and hotel staff both. We got there at around 12:30-1:00 am. We found our two first officers, and one of them had an international use cell phone that ended up being our lifeline. We were on the phone with the state department, headquarters in MSP, and several others so our exact location could be known and monitored.
Since the whole area had been cordoned off, there was no traffic movement so we ended up there until dawn, when after a very confusing and chaotic shifting of groups, we finally got a private bus company to shuttle us from outside the locked-down area to a destination which changed three times enroute. It was to a hotel near the airport where we eventually met up with the crew that brought our outbound plane "in". It was pretty much carte blanche with meals, expenses, and phone calls to family, etc.
Exhaustion was setting in, as were emotions, and I didn't sleep that whole day but a shower made all the difference. EVERY sound outside my room sent the adrenaline pumping. At that point we were missing flight attendant, D, and our captain, T.
The state dept. assured us they were in contact with them every half hour even though they were still trapped inside the Oberoi. About 5:30 pm, we got calls saying they were evacuating us out of India, and to be in the lobby at 6:05 pm. We finally took off without T and D at 8 pm, and landed in Amsterdam at around 3:30 am. It is about a nine hour flight, but I slept the whole way.
We supposedly had 15 people in coach and only WE were seated in first class. Thank God those seats lie flat. We were met in Amsterdam by several managers, grief counselors, and clergy of about six different faiths.
That was good, as it turned out, one of our flight attendants was in the lobby when the shootings took place and saw several people killed. Another had actually called an elevator to her floor and found it empty, but with a pool of blood on the floor, so she ran back to her room.
We were all given emergency clothing kits of underwear, socks, and sweatshirt and sweatpants, along with amenity kits of basic sundries, at least to get us home. Since we were given the option of staying in Amsterdam to rest, counsel, have clothing purchased for us, or whatever, and fly home the next day, or to continue on to our home cities.
Out of the nine of MY crewmembers, and the 11 crewmembers who landed in Mumbai about the time this started, only two chose to stay. They also said a large group of reporters was waiting for us to exit, so we were sent off the property a different way, to a hotel nearby for a four hour layover until the first flight to Detroit departed, thank God. I was OUT that entire flight as well. A glass of wine and a xanax works wonders!
We were then met in Detroit by several senior management personnel and Employee Assistance Program psychologists. We were quickly and quietly expedited through customs and immigration and offered the chance to talk to anybody we wished, but my flight was leaving for Milwaukee in 40 minutes so I had to decline. Turns out that crew to Milwaukee had been told of my presence and they went out of their way to make me comfortable, as did the crews of every flight that got me home.
As a matter of fact, I have never seen such kindness and compassion extended to us, like it was by everybody we encountered, from hotel staffs to Airport and airline personnel. It was truly extraordinary. Some processed it differently, and at different times, but I finally broke when I learned that D and T had finally been released unharmed and were preparing to board a flight to Frankfurt before catching the flight to Detroit from there.
We left Mumbai with little more than the clothes on our backs, but Detroit inflight has been in touch, and they said they will replace EVERYTHING we lost, and at full monetary value, no questions asked, or receipts required. They have also dropped most of my December schedule with pay. I lost my TravelPro luggage, garment bag, laptop, cell phone, ipod, Nikon camera, skype phone. clothing, leather coat, uniform pieces etc, but I came out of there unharmed, and with my LIFE, which is what mattered most.
Since I sat in row 1 on my flight to Milwaukee, I was first off the plane. J met me at the end of the jetway and burst into tears, which turned on the water for me too. Then the gate agent started in, and I think everybody in the gate area waiting to depart was wondering what the hell had just happened. lol It was only when J offered up "let me help you with your bags" (I had ONE small plastic bag with a handle), did the laughter emerge through the tears.
Outside of security in Milwaukee we were met by P and L, and V and B. I wanted to get home and up to the farm to be with K, but I agreed, thankfully to stop over at Amelia's by the airport for a bloody mary. MAN, that tasted good! Special thanks go out to you guys......that small gesture did NOT go unappreciated! So tonight I'm able to finally sit here at my desktop PC and finally get back to you. Thanks for understanding.
I received the following email from a co-worker who is friends with the author. I have removed some of the identifying pieces of the email to protect his privacy. I think that would have been just terrifying. Thank goodness they were all ok. Here is his story.....
For those of you who don't know, I was on a layover at the Oberoi Trident hotel in Mumbai when the attacks occurred there last Wednesday night. Some of my memory of some of this is sketchy but here's what I remember.
Had a great, uneventful layover...the usual, massage, lunch at Trishna etc. Napped from about six pm to 9 pm. I received my 9:50 pm wakeup call from reception, reminding me of my 10:50 pm pickup time. I left my room for the lobby about 10:35 and saw one of my flight attendants standing at the elevator bank. He said the elevators for some reason weren't working and that his calls from the house phone adjacent to them was going unanswered. My initial reaction was "Oh God, am I going to have to carry all my bags down stairs???".
I was heading back to my room to try calling from my room's phone when we heard a tremendous explosion that shook the building. We were on the 18th floor, and unaware of what was happening in the lobby and outside the hotel. I ran to my room and dialed reception, and again, no answer. I went back out into the hallway to see what we were going to decide to do when we heard another huge explosion followed by very loud screams. At first I thought that an elevator had fallen as the screams seemed to come from the elevator shafts.
Suddenly doors in the hallway were opening and heads were sticking out wondering what was going on. All of a sudden a young woman comes out and starts banging on other doors in the hallway screaming that the hotel was being attacked. Apparently she saw it on TV. My coworker and I ran into my room and turned on the television and on one of the local channels it was being reported that there were "firings" outside of some hotels. It was running across the bottom of the screen but the TV still had regular programming on. I wasn't sure what they meant by firings, but I couldn't help but wonder if that is what the explosions were. Everyone was confused about what to do, but my coworker said he was going to go down the stairway adjacent to the elevators to see if it was safe to get out. He was turned back by hotel staff several flights down.
By this time I had that hall crowd of people in my room watching the news on TV that attacks were being carried out at several locations in the city. All of a sudden one of the women who was a flight attendant got a call on her PDA and screamed that the hotel was on fire and we had to get out. Although we didn't know it at the time, it was actually the Taj Hotel on fire. But we decided to head down the stairs.
Instinctively, I grabbed my passport, crew badge, wallet, and cash, and locked my luggage in my room. Some of the women were crying but it was orderly going down. Strangely nobody from above followed the 16 of us. We made it to the pool level which is on the rooftop of the third floor, but the all the glass doors to the outside areas were locked. That floor also has banquet and meeting rooms and we found all the doors locked.
Inside the ladies room the towels are cloth, so we grabbed a bunch of them and wet them in case we had to breathe through smoke. But we hadn't smelled any if the hotel was indeed on fire. We were trying to figure out where to go at that point when we encountered a hotel security guard.
He WHISPERED (which began to scare me even more) for us to stay there as there was an "incident" in the lobby. We cut through a linen tied to the insides of large bronze handles of the doors to one of the banquet rooms. He told us to be very very quiet, and to stay there until someone came to get us. He also told us to stay on the floor. We were in that room for over an hour, and several of the crewmembers with us had PDA's, and were getting information from outside sources, so we learned the situation was not good.
Eventually hiding in the dark there, we barricaded the door with a large table and waited.....then we heard voices. My heart I swear stopped for a few seconds. We were all on the floor holding hands, praying, some were crying softly etc... . Turned out to be that same security man. He was like he was sent from heaven. He said there were men here to help us evacuate. There were about a half dozen guys in camo with large automatic rifles. We were then led through a long set of offices, storage areas etc, until eventually we came out into a mezzanine level in the lobby through the hotel's business center.
There was a Van Cleef and Arpels store and a Brioni men's clothing store and all the windows were shattered, as were all the windows to the outside. Apparently grenades had been thrown in some lobby areas. There was glass EVERYWHERE! They told us to stay closely together, and QUIETLY but quickly follow them. But every time we encountered a turn in the hallway, or an open area, they halted us and the military guys aimed their rifles in all directions. We had to descend a large staircase into the open main lobby of the hotel, and RUN past the front desk, the concierge, and out the main doors. There was not ONE window intact, there was blood everywhere, and the restaurant called Opium Den next to the elevators had at least a dozen bullet holes in the glass. Apparently several people were killed there.
Everywhere we stepped there was glass.....on the furniture, the carpeting, the marble floors...everywhere. There were also NO people....anywhere. The huge glass doors to the main entrance were reduced to about six inches deep of glass pieces similar to a windshield break. It wasn't like sheet glass. It was weird. So we didn't have to open any doors to get out. We were halted in the entrance area and the rifle men repositioned.
That was perhaps the most terrifying part. Not knowing where the bad guys with guns and grenades were, or if we were going to get shot from someplace or somebody that was hiding. We ran across the street and up about three blocks to a movie theater complex's parking ramp where we were in! the company of several hundred people....guests and hotel staff both. We got there at around 12:30-1:00 am. We found our two first officers, and one of them had an international use cell phone that ended up being our lifeline. We were on the phone with the state department, headquarters in MSP, and several others so our exact location could be known and monitored.
Since the whole area had been cordoned off, there was no traffic movement so we ended up there until dawn, when after a very confusing and chaotic shifting of groups, we finally got a private bus company to shuttle us from outside the locked-down area to a destination which changed three times enroute. It was to a hotel near the airport where we eventually met up with the crew that brought our outbound plane "in". It was pretty much carte blanche with meals, expenses, and phone calls to family, etc.
Exhaustion was setting in, as were emotions, and I didn't sleep that whole day but a shower made all the difference. EVERY sound outside my room sent the adrenaline pumping. At that point we were missing flight attendant, D, and our captain, T.
The state dept. assured us they were in contact with them every half hour even though they were still trapped inside the Oberoi. About 5:30 pm, we got calls saying they were evacuating us out of India, and to be in the lobby at 6:05 pm. We finally took off without T and D at 8 pm, and landed in Amsterdam at around 3:30 am. It is about a nine hour flight, but I slept the whole way.
We supposedly had 15 people in coach and only WE were seated in first class. Thank God those seats lie flat. We were met in Amsterdam by several managers, grief counselors, and clergy of about six different faiths.
That was good, as it turned out, one of our flight attendants was in the lobby when the shootings took place and saw several people killed. Another had actually called an elevator to her floor and found it empty, but with a pool of blood on the floor, so she ran back to her room.
We were all given emergency clothing kits of underwear, socks, and sweatshirt and sweatpants, along with amenity kits of basic sundries, at least to get us home. Since we were given the option of staying in Amsterdam to rest, counsel, have clothing purchased for us, or whatever, and fly home the next day, or to continue on to our home cities.
Out of the nine of MY crewmembers, and the 11 crewmembers who landed in Mumbai about the time this started, only two chose to stay. They also said a large group of reporters was waiting for us to exit, so we were sent off the property a different way, to a hotel nearby for a four hour layover until the first flight to Detroit departed, thank God. I was OUT that entire flight as well. A glass of wine and a xanax works wonders!
We were then met in Detroit by several senior management personnel and Employee Assistance Program psychologists. We were quickly and quietly expedited through customs and immigration and offered the chance to talk to anybody we wished, but my flight was leaving for Milwaukee in 40 minutes so I had to decline. Turns out that crew to Milwaukee had been told of my presence and they went out of their way to make me comfortable, as did the crews of every flight that got me home.
As a matter of fact, I have never seen such kindness and compassion extended to us, like it was by everybody we encountered, from hotel staffs to Airport and airline personnel. It was truly extraordinary. Some processed it differently, and at different times, but I finally broke when I learned that D and T had finally been released unharmed and were preparing to board a flight to Frankfurt before catching the flight to Detroit from there.
We left Mumbai with little more than the clothes on our backs, but Detroit inflight has been in touch, and they said they will replace EVERYTHING we lost, and at full monetary value, no questions asked, or receipts required. They have also dropped most of my December schedule with pay. I lost my TravelPro luggage, garment bag, laptop, cell phone, ipod, Nikon camera, skype phone. clothing, leather coat, uniform pieces etc, but I came out of there unharmed, and with my LIFE, which is what mattered most.
Since I sat in row 1 on my flight to Milwaukee, I was first off the plane. J met me at the end of the jetway and burst into tears, which turned on the water for me too. Then the gate agent started in, and I think everybody in the gate area waiting to depart was wondering what the hell had just happened. lol It was only when J offered up "let me help you with your bags" (I had ONE small plastic bag with a handle), did the laughter emerge through the tears.
Outside of security in Milwaukee we were met by P and L, and V and B. I wanted to get home and up to the farm to be with K, but I agreed, thankfully to stop over at Amelia's by the airport for a bloody mary. MAN, that tasted good! Special thanks go out to you guys......that small gesture did NOT go unappreciated! So tonight I'm able to finally sit here at my desktop PC and finally get back to you. Thanks for understanding.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
When Black Friday Comes
No, not the Steely Dan song.... Today is a day that I usually try to avoid going to any stores. I am not the type to try and fight crowds to get a deal. To me, my time and sanity is worth more than most of the deals out there.
Thanksgiving was ok. Quiet. I went by my Dad's. He still can't eat so we just watched the football games. I played football with my two youngest nieces which was fun. Basically, I would throw or punt the ball they would try to catch it and run past me to score a touchdown. I also taught them how to spike the football and then make up a touchdown dance. It was funny. They kept trying to get the ball away from each other and one would face plant the other one in the snow. We finally went in when everyone's pants and gloves were wet from the snow. I just wish that my sister would play with them like that. They really get no exercise. They both love to be outside. My sister does not believe in them playing sports saying that it is stupid and dumb. I don't even try to argue with her anymore. Not worth it.
My dad is finally done with his radiation and chemo. The doctor's gave him some "blaster" shots of radiation on his glands. His neck looks really bad. It is basically one big, icky, oozing scab all the way around his neck. It is starting to get better but... yuck. He has to keep the bandages off it during the day so the air can get at it. He is starting to get some feeling back in his tongue. He said it stings and burns. Kinda like when your leg falls asleep. The swelling around his mouth is also getting better. It is just a slow recovery. I had to yell at him yesterday that he still smokes. I told him that the cancer would just come back if he continued to smoke and did he want to go thru this all again. He didn't say much. grrrrr.... I will have to venture out to Target or Kmart later to pick my dad up a few sweatshirts. He can't wear his flannel shirts because the collars irritate his neck. He will be lost without the flannel shirts.
Thanksgiving was ok. Quiet. I went by my Dad's. He still can't eat so we just watched the football games. I played football with my two youngest nieces which was fun. Basically, I would throw or punt the ball they would try to catch it and run past me to score a touchdown. I also taught them how to spike the football and then make up a touchdown dance. It was funny. They kept trying to get the ball away from each other and one would face plant the other one in the snow. We finally went in when everyone's pants and gloves were wet from the snow. I just wish that my sister would play with them like that. They really get no exercise. They both love to be outside. My sister does not believe in them playing sports saying that it is stupid and dumb. I don't even try to argue with her anymore. Not worth it.
My dad is finally done with his radiation and chemo. The doctor's gave him some "blaster" shots of radiation on his glands. His neck looks really bad. It is basically one big, icky, oozing scab all the way around his neck. It is starting to get better but... yuck. He has to keep the bandages off it during the day so the air can get at it. He is starting to get some feeling back in his tongue. He said it stings and burns. Kinda like when your leg falls asleep. The swelling around his mouth is also getting better. It is just a slow recovery. I had to yell at him yesterday that he still smokes. I told him that the cancer would just come back if he continued to smoke and did he want to go thru this all again. He didn't say much. grrrrr.... I will have to venture out to Target or Kmart later to pick my dad up a few sweatshirts. He can't wear his flannel shirts because the collars irritate his neck. He will be lost without the flannel shirts.
Monday, November 24, 2008
I'm Cooking Thanksgiving Dinner
This year I volunteered to cook the turkey for Thanksgiving.
Here is a turkey recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing -- imagine that. When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try.
8 - 15 lb. turkey
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is good)
1 cup uncooked popcorn (Orville Redenbacher's Low Fat is my choice)
Salt/pepper to taste
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven.
Listen for the popping sounds. When the turkey's ass blows the oven door open and the bird flies across the room, it's done.
And, you thought I didn't cook...
Here is a turkey recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing -- imagine that. When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try.
8 - 15 lb. turkey
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is good)
1 cup uncooked popcorn (Orville Redenbacher's Low Fat is my choice)
Salt/pepper to taste
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven.
Listen for the popping sounds. When the turkey's ass blows the oven door open and the bird flies across the room, it's done.
And, you thought I didn't cook...
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
We're Sick And Tired Of Raising Your Young
I took this from the Onion. Another totally hilarious article.
Listen, humans, I am really starting to get tired of this crap. Get your shit together and learn to keep better track of your young, because we wolves are seriously sick of raising them.
I was roaming the forest the other day, just marking my territory, when what do I come across?That's right, a human infant. Boy, was I pissed. I'm sure the poor little waif was orphaned in a plane crash or something, and, of course, I was supposed to take it into my pack and raise it like one of our own. Well, screw that: We've got enough humans to raise already.
We wolves have our own offspring to rear, you know. It's not like we're just sitting around all day, waiting for another one of your little twerps to fall off a cruise ship. Do you think that after a hard day of hunting, I want to come back to the cave and look after some hairless, wormy thing that isn't even going to pass on my genetic information? Do I look like a fucking nanny?
If it were just a plane-crash survivor every now and again, I could deal with it. But when you figure in the whitewater-rafting disasters, the mountain-climbing accidents, and the attacking bears that kill the parents but spare the children, those orphaned infants really start to add up. I'm working my paws to the bone as it is.
And it wouldn't be nearly so bad if your babies weren't so helpless. Our pups are weaned and out of the den within nine weeks. A human child can't even walk until it reaches 15 months. Fifteen months! Talk about pathetic: By that age, our young are having kids of their own.
I'm sorry if I sound bitter, but I have to speak up, or the situation will only get worse. I'm the alpha female of a pretty good-sized pack, and it's hard enough finding, eating and regurgitating food for my own pups, much less a bunch of human children. I do my best to make ends meet, but your young are so picky it's next to impossible. They'll eat the partially digested berries I bring them, but they refuse to swallow the chipmunk meat I vomit into their mouths. If I injure a squirrel and put it in front of one of your young, the baby just lies there and wails at the top of its lungs for hours. Christ!
Then there's the problem of basic hygiene. Haven't you ever heard of licking yourself clean after you shit? How revolting. Our offspring instinctively know to wash themselves from the moment they're born. Then again, there are a lot of things our offspring instinctively know.
I know what you're thinking—we shouldn't drag your infants back to the den in the first place, if all we're going to do is bitch about it, right? After all, we could just send them out to start their own pack when winter approaches. To tell you the truth, we have driven a few of the more annoying ones out, but we always feel so guilty when we find their half-eaten carcasses a few days later. After the fifth or sixth time, it's hard to act like you didn't know it would happen.
Worst of all, in that rare instance when you do come to retrieve your missing kid, we don't get so much as a thank you. No, you just grab him and race back to "civilization" as fast as possible, so he can unlearn everything we taught him about marking his territory and stalking prey. No wonder wolves have been known occasionally to attack humans—you're a bunch of ungrateful bastards.
So the next time you lose one of your damn kids in the woods, you can forget about us raising it, because it ain't happening. Let the fucking elk do it.
Sincerely,
The Wolves
Listen, humans, I am really starting to get tired of this crap. Get your shit together and learn to keep better track of your young, because we wolves are seriously sick of raising them.
I was roaming the forest the other day, just marking my territory, when what do I come across?That's right, a human infant. Boy, was I pissed. I'm sure the poor little waif was orphaned in a plane crash or something, and, of course, I was supposed to take it into my pack and raise it like one of our own. Well, screw that: We've got enough humans to raise already.
We wolves have our own offspring to rear, you know. It's not like we're just sitting around all day, waiting for another one of your little twerps to fall off a cruise ship. Do you think that after a hard day of hunting, I want to come back to the cave and look after some hairless, wormy thing that isn't even going to pass on my genetic information? Do I look like a fucking nanny?
If it were just a plane-crash survivor every now and again, I could deal with it. But when you figure in the whitewater-rafting disasters, the mountain-climbing accidents, and the attacking bears that kill the parents but spare the children, those orphaned infants really start to add up. I'm working my paws to the bone as it is.
And it wouldn't be nearly so bad if your babies weren't so helpless. Our pups are weaned and out of the den within nine weeks. A human child can't even walk until it reaches 15 months. Fifteen months! Talk about pathetic: By that age, our young are having kids of their own.
I'm sorry if I sound bitter, but I have to speak up, or the situation will only get worse. I'm the alpha female of a pretty good-sized pack, and it's hard enough finding, eating and regurgitating food for my own pups, much less a bunch of human children. I do my best to make ends meet, but your young are so picky it's next to impossible. They'll eat the partially digested berries I bring them, but they refuse to swallow the chipmunk meat I vomit into their mouths. If I injure a squirrel and put it in front of one of your young, the baby just lies there and wails at the top of its lungs for hours. Christ!
Then there's the problem of basic hygiene. Haven't you ever heard of licking yourself clean after you shit? How revolting. Our offspring instinctively know to wash themselves from the moment they're born. Then again, there are a lot of things our offspring instinctively know.
I know what you're thinking—we shouldn't drag your infants back to the den in the first place, if all we're going to do is bitch about it, right? After all, we could just send them out to start their own pack when winter approaches. To tell you the truth, we have driven a few of the more annoying ones out, but we always feel so guilty when we find their half-eaten carcasses a few days later. After the fifth or sixth time, it's hard to act like you didn't know it would happen.
Worst of all, in that rare instance when you do come to retrieve your missing kid, we don't get so much as a thank you. No, you just grab him and race back to "civilization" as fast as possible, so he can unlearn everything we taught him about marking his territory and stalking prey. No wonder wolves have been known occasionally to attack humans—you're a bunch of ungrateful bastards.
So the next time you lose one of your damn kids in the woods, you can forget about us raising it, because it ain't happening. Let the fucking elk do it.
Sincerely,
The Wolves
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Welfare Check
Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job.
I work, they pay me. maybe not as much as I'd like but hey, in this economy even having a job is a good thing. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit (which may or may not be a good thing). In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a urine test with which I have no problem.
What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them?
Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their ass, doing drugs, while I work. Got that sis??
Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check? I guess we could title that program, 'Urine or You're Out'.
I work, they pay me. maybe not as much as I'd like but hey, in this economy even having a job is a good thing. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit (which may or may not be a good thing). In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a urine test with which I have no problem.
What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them?
Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their ass, doing drugs, while I work. Got that sis??
Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check? I guess we could title that program, 'Urine or You're Out'.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
1919 Poster
If you were around in 1919 and came across this poster.....
I mean seriously.... would you quit drinking???
I mean seriously.... would you quit drinking???
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
They Come in Three's or More??
This past week has been sucky.
Let's review.
Monday: Get phone call from sis-in-law at 3:30 am. She has kidney stones and needs someone to take her to the hospital. Hubby does this. I have to go pick up her dog and bring him back to my home as she will be there for a few days.
Get email from cousin at about 7:30 am that another cousin is really sick and not doing well. 6 hours later get follow up email, that he died. He was 51. He has had medical problems his whole life and had been on dialysis for the past 5 years. This is a blessing that he is no longer is pain.
Get call later that day from dad who says that he is not feeling well from his chemo and radiation. He was severely dehydrated. He spent the afternoon in the hospital getting fluids.
New dog guest, Bailey, is very restless. He does not sleep much at night, neither do I as I can hear his nails on the floor and his tags jingling all night as he wanders around the house. he is a good dog but sheds and I am allergic to him. Spend next three days with watery eyes and the sniffles.
Tuesday: Got to work on only a few hours of sleep. Elections. Get home from working that around 2:00 am. In bed by 2:45 am. Bailey still wanders around and I get very little sleep.
Wednesday: Work from home but get page at saying application I support is down at 7:30 am. Get up and start work. Was hoping to get some sleep, Damn.
Get phone call from dad. His sister (my aunt) dead husband's brother died. When we were younger we did alot of stuff with their family.
Skip trivia, in bed by 9:00pm. Get little more sleep as Bailey, decides he will sleep thru the night.
Thursday: Get call from dad. Sister is pissed at hubby and I. We have been sending her probation officer (PO) stuff that we get from Cheyenne's school. Also tell her that sister is stealing dad's cancer drugs. PO calls sis out on this and is livid. I could care less. Seems to me that if kids were in school and she was clean and had a job and moved out of parent's house, this would not be an issue.
Bailey goes home. My dogs are happy. I am happy as I can now breathe.
Friday: Memorial service for cousin. It was a very nice service. Lot of relatives in town. Got back to Aunt's house for a few hours to visit with everyone. It was nice.
Saturday: Burial for cousin. Cold and kinda rainy/snowy. Thank goodness it was only 20 min at the grave site. Note to self: Do not wear pointy heel shoes when having to walk thru a cemetery where the ground is all wet and mushy. Went to luncheon, it was nice to get to visit with more relatives. Don't get to see them much except for reunions, weddings and funerals.
Got to see movie, Max Payne. Kinda sucky.
Sunday: Get phone call from dad. Cousin from North Dakota died. I have not seen him since I was 15 and my grandma (dad's mom) had died. He was only 40. Not sure on the details yet.
Dad does say that he feels really good today. Better than he has in a couple of weeks. Only five more radiation treatments and one more dose of chemo left. Yeah!!
Monday: Get up and take truck to service station to get new tires put on. Get loaner car (no, it wasn't the Focus StB) Get home. Realize that when I left my keys at the service station, my house key was on the ring. No big deal. Have a spare key in the garage. Except that the garage door opener is in the house... the other opener, in my truck. Damn!! Call Dad, he meets me and gives me his copy of my house key. Yeah!!
Get email from friend. Father of another friend died on Sunday. Damn it!! This is getting ridiculous.
They say that deaths come in 3's. I am now up to 4. Does that mean there will be another 2? I hope not.
Let's hope that this week turns out better.
Let's review.
Monday: Get phone call from sis-in-law at 3:30 am. She has kidney stones and needs someone to take her to the hospital. Hubby does this. I have to go pick up her dog and bring him back to my home as she will be there for a few days.
Get email from cousin at about 7:30 am that another cousin is really sick and not doing well. 6 hours later get follow up email, that he died. He was 51. He has had medical problems his whole life and had been on dialysis for the past 5 years. This is a blessing that he is no longer is pain.
Get call later that day from dad who says that he is not feeling well from his chemo and radiation. He was severely dehydrated. He spent the afternoon in the hospital getting fluids.
New dog guest, Bailey, is very restless. He does not sleep much at night, neither do I as I can hear his nails on the floor and his tags jingling all night as he wanders around the house. he is a good dog but sheds and I am allergic to him. Spend next three days with watery eyes and the sniffles.
Tuesday: Got to work on only a few hours of sleep. Elections. Get home from working that around 2:00 am. In bed by 2:45 am. Bailey still wanders around and I get very little sleep.
Wednesday: Work from home but get page at saying application I support is down at 7:30 am. Get up and start work. Was hoping to get some sleep, Damn.
Get phone call from dad. His sister (my aunt) dead husband's brother died. When we were younger we did alot of stuff with their family.
Skip trivia, in bed by 9:00pm. Get little more sleep as Bailey, decides he will sleep thru the night.
Thursday: Get call from dad. Sister is pissed at hubby and I. We have been sending her probation officer (PO) stuff that we get from Cheyenne's school. Also tell her that sister is stealing dad's cancer drugs. PO calls sis out on this and is livid. I could care less. Seems to me that if kids were in school and she was clean and had a job and moved out of parent's house, this would not be an issue.
Bailey goes home. My dogs are happy. I am happy as I can now breathe.
Friday: Memorial service for cousin. It was a very nice service. Lot of relatives in town. Got back to Aunt's house for a few hours to visit with everyone. It was nice.
Saturday: Burial for cousin. Cold and kinda rainy/snowy. Thank goodness it was only 20 min at the grave site. Note to self: Do not wear pointy heel shoes when having to walk thru a cemetery where the ground is all wet and mushy. Went to luncheon, it was nice to get to visit with more relatives. Don't get to see them much except for reunions, weddings and funerals.
Got to see movie, Max Payne. Kinda sucky.
Sunday: Get phone call from dad. Cousin from North Dakota died. I have not seen him since I was 15 and my grandma (dad's mom) had died. He was only 40. Not sure on the details yet.
Dad does say that he feels really good today. Better than he has in a couple of weeks. Only five more radiation treatments and one more dose of chemo left. Yeah!!
Monday: Get up and take truck to service station to get new tires put on. Get loaner car (no, it wasn't the Focus StB) Get home. Realize that when I left my keys at the service station, my house key was on the ring. No big deal. Have a spare key in the garage. Except that the garage door opener is in the house... the other opener, in my truck. Damn!! Call Dad, he meets me and gives me his copy of my house key. Yeah!!
Get email from friend. Father of another friend died on Sunday. Damn it!! This is getting ridiculous.
They say that deaths come in 3's. I am now up to 4. Does that mean there will be another 2? I hope not.
Let's hope that this week turns out better.
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Ca-Ching
Last night was our poker finals. Going into last night I was in a semi solid second place. Josh had already secured first place and there were 5 of us duking it out for 2nd ($250) and 3rd ($200)place.
Because it was the last night we decided to kick in $30 each and 20 would go towards the nightly payout. I knew it was going to be a good night as I pulled the ace when we drew for seat positions and that also mean that I got the 'good' chair. Meaning I did not have to sit on a metal card chair or one of the lawn chairs (Mark is a single guy and his furniture is a bit lacking). Game started out slow as I just wasn't getting cards. I knew that I had to play semi-conservative early on until a few guys were knocked out. Kory went out first and he wasn't even playing. He was going to be late so Dave was sitting in for him until Kory got there. Just as Kory walked in the door Dave went all in (up until this point he was playing ultra conservative as he didn't want to screw up for Kory). Bottom line, Dave had pocket A and lost to the flush. Ouch!!
No one really dropped for the first hour and half. Until the blinds went up. It was then time to shit or get off the pot for folks. I was still playing only the really good hands and not getting too crazy. Final three came down to Pops, Johnny boy and myself. Johnny was short stacked and Pops and I were fairly even. We knocked Johnny out and it was down to Pops and I. By this time we knew that I had finished 2nd and Pops had 3rd locked up for overall. It now came down to who would take home the 140 for winning the nights game. We played for about 20 min and decided to raise up the blinds to 400/800 to get things moving a bit more quickly. it was then that I made my move. I was pushing on any high card and usually stealing at least the blinds. Final hand came down to where I had kings and Pops had jacks.
I win!!! Whoo Hoo.
All in all the evening netted me a cool $390 big ones. Not bad for a fun evening of poker.
We are going to try and get a more regular home game going over winter. The guys I play with are fun and the play for the most part isn't too bad.
Here are the season results . If I could have played in the first game and game 8 I think I could have made a run at Josh. I had a sub that night and they were not the best players.
Because it was the last night we decided to kick in $30 each and 20 would go towards the nightly payout. I knew it was going to be a good night as I pulled the ace when we drew for seat positions and that also mean that I got the 'good' chair. Meaning I did not have to sit on a metal card chair or one of the lawn chairs (Mark is a single guy and his furniture is a bit lacking). Game started out slow as I just wasn't getting cards. I knew that I had to play semi-conservative early on until a few guys were knocked out. Kory went out first and he wasn't even playing. He was going to be late so Dave was sitting in for him until Kory got there. Just as Kory walked in the door Dave went all in (up until this point he was playing ultra conservative as he didn't want to screw up for Kory). Bottom line, Dave had pocket A and lost to the flush. Ouch!!
No one really dropped for the first hour and half. Until the blinds went up. It was then time to shit or get off the pot for folks. I was still playing only the really good hands and not getting too crazy. Final three came down to Pops, Johnny boy and myself. Johnny was short stacked and Pops and I were fairly even. We knocked Johnny out and it was down to Pops and I. By this time we knew that I had finished 2nd and Pops had 3rd locked up for overall. It now came down to who would take home the 140 for winning the nights game. We played for about 20 min and decided to raise up the blinds to 400/800 to get things moving a bit more quickly. it was then that I made my move. I was pushing on any high card and usually stealing at least the blinds. Final hand came down to where I had kings and Pops had jacks.
I win!!! Whoo Hoo.
All in all the evening netted me a cool $390 big ones. Not bad for a fun evening of poker.
We are going to try and get a more regular home game going over winter. The guys I play with are fun and the play for the most part isn't too bad.
Here are the season results . If I could have played in the first game and game 8 I think I could have made a run at Josh. I had a sub that night and they were not the best players.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Happy Birthday, Rufus!
Today is Rufus' birthday. He is now 6 years old. It is hard to believe that we have had him that long.
Here he is as a baby.... he still has that white spot on his upper lip, it is just harder to see with all the fur.
Here he is today...
And soaking up the sun in the kitchen on a sunny afternoon....
Here he is as a baby.... he still has that white spot on his upper lip, it is just harder to see with all the fur.
Here he is today...
And soaking up the sun in the kitchen on a sunny afternoon....
Friday, October 24, 2008
Friday Funny
I'm pretty sure this is what Ollie does when I'm not around. It has been a long time since this was on tv but it is still funny.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Proposition K
Almost like Special K... NOT!!
San Francisco wants to decriminalize prostitution if voters next month approve Proposition K, a measure that forbids local authorities from investigating, arresting or prosecuting anyone for selling sex.
The ballot question technically would not legalize prostitution, since state law still prohibits it, but the measure would eliminate the power of local law enforcement officials to go after prostitutes.
According to supporters of the measure they think that it will save up to 11 million dollars a year and free up police to go after other crimes.
Proposition K has been endorsed by the local Democratic Party. But the mayor, the district attorney, the police department and much of the business community oppose the idea. They contend that it would increase street prostitution, allow pimps the run of neighborhoods and hamper the fight against sex trafficking, which would remain illegal because it involves forcing people into the sex trade.
I don't know about you but I really would not like this. I think that it would make neighborhoods unsafe. On the other hand it could open up a new industry in the suburbs. Soccer mom turns tricks while kids are in school.
Doesn't it seem like California has some very strange things that they put up for voting??
hmmmm.... have to wait and see how this one plays out.
San Francisco wants to decriminalize prostitution if voters next month approve Proposition K, a measure that forbids local authorities from investigating, arresting or prosecuting anyone for selling sex.
The ballot question technically would not legalize prostitution, since state law still prohibits it, but the measure would eliminate the power of local law enforcement officials to go after prostitutes.
According to supporters of the measure they think that it will save up to 11 million dollars a year and free up police to go after other crimes.
Proposition K has been endorsed by the local Democratic Party. But the mayor, the district attorney, the police department and much of the business community oppose the idea. They contend that it would increase street prostitution, allow pimps the run of neighborhoods and hamper the fight against sex trafficking, which would remain illegal because it involves forcing people into the sex trade.
I don't know about you but I really would not like this. I think that it would make neighborhoods unsafe. On the other hand it could open up a new industry in the suburbs. Soccer mom turns tricks while kids are in school.
Doesn't it seem like California has some very strange things that they put up for voting??
hmmmm.... have to wait and see how this one plays out.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
A Moral Victory
My former boss, who is now just a regular team mate of mine, came up with this 'plan' to reduce costs by eliminating pagers for the company. Now, this is fine as there are alot of them that are not being used but it is the way she was going about it that I had issues with.
She started out by picking random pagers (L and I have yet to figure out how she chose these devices) and sent them one page with her phone number in it. When they didn't call back by the end of the day she had their pagers cancelled. This 'plan' failed miserably when about 20 people came forward wanting to know why their pagers were turned off. She did not quite get the fact that most people, me included, will not return a call from a number that I do not recognize.
So for the past few weeks we have been meeting the the procurement department who is responsible for vendor relations and the contract side of the pager relationship.
I kept bringing up the fact that I did not think that it was right that since the IT dept requires that if you are on-call that support is required 24x7 and that they then tell you that you have to use your personal wireless device to be notified when there is an issue. I think that if you want me to be on-call after I leave my building that you had better provide me with a device to be notified with. No one listened to my concerns. Until a higher up mucky mucky was on last weeks call and thought that "hey, maybe we better check this out with HR, just in case".
Turns out that I was right. HA!! We cannot force people to use their personal devices to be contacted by off hours. If they choose to do so and submit the expense for reimbursement that is fine, but we cannot mandate this.
I'm not sure why my former now demoted boss never thinks that what I have to say matters (ok, so maybe it has something with going over her head and turning her in for taking kickbacks (weekend in Vegas) from a vendor), but I am damn good at my job and I know what I'm talking about.
Some day I will post examples of her 'math' skills. It is hilarious. She puts together these proposals with number so out of whack I'm positive that my parrot can put random numbers that make more sense.
She started out by picking random pagers (L and I have yet to figure out how she chose these devices) and sent them one page with her phone number in it. When they didn't call back by the end of the day she had their pagers cancelled. This 'plan' failed miserably when about 20 people came forward wanting to know why their pagers were turned off. She did not quite get the fact that most people, me included, will not return a call from a number that I do not recognize.
So for the past few weeks we have been meeting the the procurement department who is responsible for vendor relations and the contract side of the pager relationship.
I kept bringing up the fact that I did not think that it was right that since the IT dept requires that if you are on-call that support is required 24x7 and that they then tell you that you have to use your personal wireless device to be notified when there is an issue. I think that if you want me to be on-call after I leave my building that you had better provide me with a device to be notified with. No one listened to my concerns. Until a higher up mucky mucky was on last weeks call and thought that "hey, maybe we better check this out with HR, just in case".
Turns out that I was right. HA!! We cannot force people to use their personal devices to be contacted by off hours. If they choose to do so and submit the expense for reimbursement that is fine, but we cannot mandate this.
I'm not sure why my former now demoted boss never thinks that what I have to say matters (ok, so maybe it has something with going over her head and turning her in for taking kickbacks (weekend in Vegas) from a vendor), but I am damn good at my job and I know what I'm talking about.
Some day I will post examples of her 'math' skills. It is hilarious. She puts together these proposals with number so out of whack I'm positive that my parrot can put random numbers that make more sense.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Interesting....
I found this very interesting....
NEW YORK—National Football League officials announced that Dallas Cowboys cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones has committed a uniform weapons violation and will be fined $2,000 for keeping his nine-millimeter Beretta handgun in his game uniform's belt and not tucking the firearm into his uniform pants as rules stipulate during Monday night's game against the Philadelphia Eagles. "This fine sends a clear message that there is no leeway when it comes the NFL's new firearms policy—if players have a sidearm in their pants while on the field of play, said pistol must be tucked into the front, back, or sides of said pants," a statement from the commissioner's office read in part. "Once again, the rule is clear: Players can carry up to five guns onto the field at any one time, but only if they are properly carried in holsters underneath their jerseys, in the aforementioned portions of their pants, or in their sock." Goodell also cautioned Jones to be mindful of rule 14b of the on-field uniform code, which states that one may shoot an opposing quarterback once and only once as long as the throwing arm is not targeted.
Ok, it was funny.... you got to admit that. Hope you didn't really believe this as being true. I took it from the Onion.
NEW YORK—National Football League officials announced that Dallas Cowboys cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones has committed a uniform weapons violation and will be fined $2,000 for keeping his nine-millimeter Beretta handgun in his game uniform's belt and not tucking the firearm into his uniform pants as rules stipulate during Monday night's game against the Philadelphia Eagles. "This fine sends a clear message that there is no leeway when it comes the NFL's new firearms policy—if players have a sidearm in their pants while on the field of play, said pistol must be tucked into the front, back, or sides of said pants," a statement from the commissioner's office read in part. "Once again, the rule is clear: Players can carry up to five guns onto the field at any one time, but only if they are properly carried in holsters underneath their jerseys, in the aforementioned portions of their pants, or in their sock." Goodell also cautioned Jones to be mindful of rule 14b of the on-field uniform code, which states that one may shoot an opposing quarterback once and only once as long as the throwing arm is not targeted.
Ok, it was funny.... you got to admit that. Hope you didn't really believe this as being true. I took it from the Onion.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Rooms to Let... for Fifty Cents
I am now looking for a place to sleep.
Ever since hubby has moved back in with me, I am getting no sleep. Literally. He snores. BAD. Ask the guys who went to the Packer game with him a few weeks ago. They will tell you.
It is now to the point that somehow I end up sleeping on the couch. Not sure how that works... this is my house. I sleep on the couch. Not that is not a comfy couch but sleeping with two dogs on the couch is a bit cramped. Rufus still sleeps in the bed with hubby. I told him tonight that he should sleep on the couch or in his chair. He laughed at me and said then he wouldn't get any sleep. I'm to the point where I don't care. I need sleep!!!
I am now sick and am positive that alot of it has to do with only getting a couple hours of sleep a night. If I'm lucky. It was actually nice to come home from work early today and sleep in the bed uninterrupted for 5 hours.
Back to bed now... or should I say couch.
Ever since hubby has moved back in with me, I am getting no sleep. Literally. He snores. BAD. Ask the guys who went to the Packer game with him a few weeks ago. They will tell you.
It is now to the point that somehow I end up sleeping on the couch. Not sure how that works... this is my house. I sleep on the couch. Not that is not a comfy couch but sleeping with two dogs on the couch is a bit cramped. Rufus still sleeps in the bed with hubby. I told him tonight that he should sleep on the couch or in his chair. He laughed at me and said then he wouldn't get any sleep. I'm to the point where I don't care. I need sleep!!!
I am now sick and am positive that alot of it has to do with only getting a couple hours of sleep a night. If I'm lucky. It was actually nice to come home from work early today and sleep in the bed uninterrupted for 5 hours.
Back to bed now... or should I say couch.
Fun Fart Facts
It seems that whenever we camp the group as a whole is a very gassy bunch. I'm sure that it has nothing to do with all the food we eat and cocktails we consume. Face it, even tho' we are getting older farts are still funny.
I am stealing this from the MSNBC.com website --> under their Body Odd blog. It is always a fun read.
Dr. Billy Goldberg: The past eight weeks of my life have revolved around gas. On Jan. 22, I welcomed my second child into the world, a beautiful baby girl. It didn’t take long to realize that she was gassy like her daddy. In the wee hours of the morning when she was wailing from overwhelming intestinal distress, I had a revelation. I came to realize that we can mark the different stages of our life by how we handle our flatulence.
My poor little newborn desperately needed to let one rip. This is how we begin our life, unable to get them out.
Then comes adolescence – a stage where we are thrilled to let them out. Oh, the hilarious joy of the public fart! But BEWARE if you are in Camden, Maine. The Camden-Rockport Middle School has issued a ban on intentional flatulence – gas-passing students are threatened with detention.
Next comes puberty and we enter the phase of frantically trying to hold them in. I can just imagine my sweet little girl all grown up on a dinner date, squirming to prevent that embarrassing unintentional release.
Life gradually becomes more and more complicated and we find ourselves increasingly awash in uncontrolled flatulence and odor. We begin to reach for the Beano and even find ourselves considering the purchase of Odor Control Nether Garments. One of the many indignities of the aging process is that loss of muscle tone occurs – even around the anal sphincter. Yes, that is why an older person has a harder time holding ‘em in.
Leyner has his own unique theories on everything and I am sure this is no exception.
Mark Leyner: I have never been inordinately intrigued or amused by farting. Of all the bodily effluvia and excretions, I’d probably rank intestinal gas pretty low on my list of favorites. I much prefer tears, spit, pus, ejaculate, rheum, colostrum, etc.
That said, this ban on “intentional flatulence” at the Camden-Rockport Middle School has all sorts of ramifications that do fascinate me. For instance, how does anyone prove “intentionality” when it comes to farting? Will the school district hire forensic gastroenterologists to analyze air samples or study surreptitiously obtained audio recordings of the boys’ flatulence to try and determine whether it was deliberate or accidental? Obviously, there are various illnesses and food allergies that can cause flatulence.
On the other hand, what if a person willfully, premeditatedly, and with malice aforethought, renders himself potently flatulent? What if a middle-school student loads up, before school, on a breakfast of beans, broccoli, Brussels sprouts and sauerkraut? Can he then claim that the farting was something that couldn't be helped, that it was “an accident.”
But there’s an even more profound philosophical and legal question to ponder. And that is: should farting constitute a mode of constitutionally protected free speech? If not, what necessarily privileges one orifice (the mouth) above another (the anus)?
Is there some overarching moral imperative that justifies society’s anathematization of the fart? By what usurpation of basic liberty can the state proscribe the natural expressiveness of the sphincter and the anus? In other words, can a fart be “art”?
In the end, the Camden-Rockport Middle School Fart Ban may very well be a First Amendment issue. I think that this could result in a landmark Supreme Court case. This could be the Roe v. Wade of flatus. But I urge all Americans to bear one thing in mind: justice may be blind, but it’s not anosmic.
Dr. Billy Goldberg: I don’t know what I can add to that.
Maybe we can just end with this list of fascinating fart facts:
I am stealing this from the MSNBC.com website --> under their Body Odd blog. It is always a fun read.
Dr. Billy Goldberg: The past eight weeks of my life have revolved around gas. On Jan. 22, I welcomed my second child into the world, a beautiful baby girl. It didn’t take long to realize that she was gassy like her daddy. In the wee hours of the morning when she was wailing from overwhelming intestinal distress, I had a revelation. I came to realize that we can mark the different stages of our life by how we handle our flatulence.
My poor little newborn desperately needed to let one rip. This is how we begin our life, unable to get them out.
Then comes adolescence – a stage where we are thrilled to let them out. Oh, the hilarious joy of the public fart! But BEWARE if you are in Camden, Maine. The Camden-Rockport Middle School has issued a ban on intentional flatulence – gas-passing students are threatened with detention.
Next comes puberty and we enter the phase of frantically trying to hold them in. I can just imagine my sweet little girl all grown up on a dinner date, squirming to prevent that embarrassing unintentional release.
Life gradually becomes more and more complicated and we find ourselves increasingly awash in uncontrolled flatulence and odor. We begin to reach for the Beano and even find ourselves considering the purchase of Odor Control Nether Garments. One of the many indignities of the aging process is that loss of muscle tone occurs – even around the anal sphincter. Yes, that is why an older person has a harder time holding ‘em in.
Leyner has his own unique theories on everything and I am sure this is no exception.
Mark Leyner: I have never been inordinately intrigued or amused by farting. Of all the bodily effluvia and excretions, I’d probably rank intestinal gas pretty low on my list of favorites. I much prefer tears, spit, pus, ejaculate, rheum, colostrum, etc.
That said, this ban on “intentional flatulence” at the Camden-Rockport Middle School has all sorts of ramifications that do fascinate me. For instance, how does anyone prove “intentionality” when it comes to farting? Will the school district hire forensic gastroenterologists to analyze air samples or study surreptitiously obtained audio recordings of the boys’ flatulence to try and determine whether it was deliberate or accidental? Obviously, there are various illnesses and food allergies that can cause flatulence.
On the other hand, what if a person willfully, premeditatedly, and with malice aforethought, renders himself potently flatulent? What if a middle-school student loads up, before school, on a breakfast of beans, broccoli, Brussels sprouts and sauerkraut? Can he then claim that the farting was something that couldn't be helped, that it was “an accident.”
But there’s an even more profound philosophical and legal question to ponder. And that is: should farting constitute a mode of constitutionally protected free speech? If not, what necessarily privileges one orifice (the mouth) above another (the anus)?
Is there some overarching moral imperative that justifies society’s anathematization of the fart? By what usurpation of basic liberty can the state proscribe the natural expressiveness of the sphincter and the anus? In other words, can a fart be “art”?
In the end, the Camden-Rockport Middle School Fart Ban may very well be a First Amendment issue. I think that this could result in a landmark Supreme Court case. This could be the Roe v. Wade of flatus. But I urge all Americans to bear one thing in mind: justice may be blind, but it’s not anosmic.
Dr. Billy Goldberg: I don’t know what I can add to that.
Maybe we can just end with this list of fascinating fart facts:
- On average, a fart is composed of about 59 percent nitrogen, 21 percent hydrogen, 9 percent carbon dioxide, 7 percent methane and 4 percent oxygen. Less than 1 percent of their makeup is what makes farts stink.
- The temperature of a fart at time of creation is 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit.
- Farts have been clocked at a speed of 10 feet per second.
- A person produces about half a liter of farts a day.
- Women fart as much as men.
- The gas that makes your farts stink is hydrogen sulfide. The more sulfur rich your diet, the more your farts will stink. Some foods that cause really smelly farts include: beans, cabbage, cheese, soda and eggs.
- Most people pass gas about 14 times a day.
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Baseball Oddities
In keeping with the spirit of the baseball season, here are some baseball contracts that were signed and some of the strange clauses that the player's had.
I took this from Mental Floss's website. Thanks for letting me borrow it. :)
I took this from Mental Floss's website. Thanks for letting me borrow it. :)
- Charlie Kerfeld, Houston Astros
After a spectacular rookie season in 1986, the rotund reliever who always pitched in his lucky Jetsons t-shirt needed a new contract. Kerfeld asked for $110,037.37, matching his number 37 jersey, to pitch in 1987. On top of that, he received 37 boxes of orange Jell-O in the deal. The Astros would soon regret this delicious bonus, though; Kerfeld, who was famously caught eating ribs in the dugout that season, would battle weight and injury problems and get sent down to the minors. - Rollie Fingers, Oakland Athletics
Former A’s owner Charlie Finley never thought of a gimmick he wouldn’t try, including a mechanical rabbit that delivered fresh balls to the umpire and hiring a 13-year-old MC Hammer as his “Executive V.P.” In 1972, Finley offered his players cash for growing a mustache by Father’s Day, thereby giving birth to reliever Fingers’ trademark handlebar ‘stache. The A’s went on to win the World Series that season, and Fingers’ contract for 1973 contained a $300 bonus for growing the mustache as well as $100 for the purchase of mustache wax. Rollie went on to a have a great career with the Brewers. - Roy Oswalt, Houston Astros
Before Oswalt made a start in the 2005 National League Championship Series, Astros owner Drayton McLane promised to make the ace’s dreams come true if he won, specifically his life goal of bulldozer ownership. After Oswalt dominated the Cardinals to send Houston to its first-ever World Series, McLane came through with a Caterpillar D6N XL. Since Major League Baseball requires high-dollar gifts be disclosed, Oswalt signed an addendum to his contract, a “bulldozer clause,” authorizing the club to give him his new toy. - Troy Glaus, Arizona Diamondbacks
Arizona inked the slugging third baseman signed for four years and $45 million in December 2004. As part of the deal, Glaus receives $250,000 annually for “personal business expenses,” namely the cost of his wife Ann’s equestrian training and equipment. Although Glaus bashed 37 homers for the Snakes in 2005, he also tied for the major-league lead in errors by a third baseman with 24, and despite Mrs. Glaus’ surely improving performance in the steeplechase, Glaus had to hoof it to Toronto when he was traded barely a year after signing. - Randy Johnson, Arizona Diamondbacks
When the Big Unit signed with the Arizona Diamondbacks in 1998, team owner Jerry Colangelo also threw in a pair of partial season tickets for the Phoenix Suns to lure in the lanky lefty. Seems like Johnson could have afforded his own tickets, but to be fair, when you’re making $52 million over four years, it’s hard to get scalpers to fall for “Can you take twenty for the pair? I swear it’s all I’ve got, dude.” - Carlos Beltran, New York Mets
Beltran’s mammoth seven-year, $119 million deal from January 2005 showed that he had all of baseball’s five tools but lacked a conditioned ocular enhancer, a gadget that throws numbered, colored tennis balls over 150 mph to help players pick up the speed of a pitched ball. So he got a contract clause requiring the Mets lease the machine and retain an operator for it. However, Beltran only hit .266 in his first year with the club, so maybe a used copy of Tony Gwynn’s tome The Art of Hitting would have been more cost-effective. - Brad Lidge, Houston Astros
When the Houston Astros (sound familiar?) re-signed Brad Lidge in January 2007, their former closer got an incentive clause promising $25,000 for winning a Silver Slugger, given annually to the top hitter at each position. Lidge probably didn’t consider this easy money; as a relief pitcher, he had only been to the plate seven times in his five-season career and hadn’t seen an at-bat since 2004. Despite an erratic season on the mound, Lidge was the model of consistency at the plate in 2007, mostly because he never had an at-bat. Houston finished 13th in the National League in runs scored, though, so maybe letting Lidge take some hacks would have been worth a try. - A.J. Burnett, Toronto Blue Jays
Lots of players have free-plane-ticket perks written into their contracts, but some feel that air travel really lacks that fun we’re-going-to-the-prom feeling that you can only get from a long limo ride. When flamethrower A.J. Burnett signed with Toronto as a free agent in December 2005, he required that his wife receive eight round-trip limo rides from his home in Maryland to Toronto each season. That’s around nine hours in a limo each way, which is enough time to move the little divider between you and the driver up and down roughly 3,500 times.
Some other interesting perks and bonuses:
- Daisuke Matsuzaka, Boston Red Sox – Dice-K’s deal with the Red Sox includes a plethora of strange or excessive clauses including housing allowances and a personal masseuse, but the oddest is that he’s contractually guaranteed the jersey number 18.
- Kevin Brown, Los Angeles Dodgers – The seven-year, $105 million deal Brown signed after the 1998 season guaranteed twelve round trip private jet trips from L.A. to his hometown in Macon, Georgia for his family, sparing his children from cruel flight attendants’ taunts about their dad being overpaid.
- Dave Roberts, San Francisco Giants – The deal Roberts signed last December gives him the right to buy four premium season tickets each year. He’s probably going to keep passing until management puts a decent team on the field, though.12. Ichiro Suzuki, Seattle Mariners – Ichiro’s five-year contract extension from July 2007 contains some reasonable perks (interpreter, plane tickets to Japan), but also stipulates the club give him a Jeep or Mercedes SUV, filling the Japanese auto industry with a deep collective sense of shame.
- Mark Teixeira, Atlanta Braves - Teixeira’s deal for 2006-2007 (originally negotiated when he was with Texas) had a clause paying him $100K for winning the AL MVP, a tough feat since he finished the contract while playing in the National League.
- Curt Schilling, Boston Red Sox – The three-time World Series champ’s new deal with the Red Sox for the 2008 season not only rewards Schilling for maintaining his weight, but also gives him $1M for appearing on any voter’s three-man Cy Young ballot. Take note, enterprising voters (“Sixty-forty split sound fair, Curt?”)
GO BREWERS!!!!
Friday, October 03, 2008
Parents and Kids
Today's rant is not about people I know but people I don't.
I really don't like kids. I do not have kids. This is by choice. People, your kids or grand kids are not the best thing since sliced bread. Get a life. Not everyone likes or wants kids.
Today at work, someone's wife brought in their kid for 'show and tell'. I have no issue with someone bringing in a kid and staying for 5 minutes or so and then leaving.
My issue is with the parents who think their kids shit don't stink. The guy in the cube behind me had his wife bring the kid in today to show her off. The kid did nothing but cry and fuss for over an hour. Yeah, that's right over an hour.
I really don't like kids. I do not have kids. This is by choice.
If I wanted to hear kids crying I would have had them.
I do not want to hear your kid crying and shit while I am trying to work...... for over an hour.
I finally went to our building AA and asked him to do something about it. He did. Wife and kid were gone within 5 minutes.
My life was then happy.
I am very sure that if I were to bring my dogs in and they were barking that it would take less than an hour for someone to ask me to make them leave the building. Why are kids any different??
The funny thing is is that the dad in this case is on the phone almost every day with either the school or court system because his kids from a previous marriage is a delinquent. The kid is already labeled a habitual truant. School has been in session a month. One freaking month!!!!Maybe you should spend less time with the crying kid and new wife and more with the kid who will end up in jail by year's end.
I also have issue with parent's who are constantly leaving work early to take the kids to an appointment. Make the appointment outside of work hours. I do when I have to schedule vet appointments for the boys. I do not think that it is fair that they don't have to take vacation or sick time to for their kids events when I have to take sick or vacation time to take the dog(s) to the vet.
Once again, I do not have kids. This is by choice. I should not be penalized for this.
I really don't like kids. I do not have kids. This is by choice. People, your kids or grand kids are not the best thing since sliced bread. Get a life. Not everyone likes or wants kids.
Today at work, someone's wife brought in their kid for 'show and tell'. I have no issue with someone bringing in a kid and staying for 5 minutes or so and then leaving.
My issue is with the parents who think their kids shit don't stink. The guy in the cube behind me had his wife bring the kid in today to show her off. The kid did nothing but cry and fuss for over an hour. Yeah, that's right over an hour.
I really don't like kids. I do not have kids. This is by choice.
If I wanted to hear kids crying I would have had them.
I do not want to hear your kid crying and shit while I am trying to work...... for over an hour.
I finally went to our building AA and asked him to do something about it. He did. Wife and kid were gone within 5 minutes.
My life was then happy.
I am very sure that if I were to bring my dogs in and they were barking that it would take less than an hour for someone to ask me to make them leave the building. Why are kids any different??
The funny thing is is that the dad in this case is on the phone almost every day with either the school or court system because his kids from a previous marriage is a delinquent. The kid is already labeled a habitual truant. School has been in session a month. One freaking month!!!!Maybe you should spend less time with the crying kid and new wife and more with the kid who will end up in jail by year's end.
I also have issue with parent's who are constantly leaving work early to take the kids to an appointment. Make the appointment outside of work hours. I do when I have to schedule vet appointments for the boys. I do not think that it is fair that they don't have to take vacation or sick time to for their kids events when I have to take sick or vacation time to take the dog(s) to the vet.
Once again, I do not have kids. This is by choice. I should not be penalized for this.
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