Cube Etiquette

The following was posted in our building newsletter, I though it was funny so, I am plagerizing it and posting it here with my comments.

Cube etiquette.

• Speak softly so you do not disturb your co-workers. Translation: Shut the fuck up!
• Conference rooms are for meetings, cubicles are not. For confidential discussions reserve a private spot where the conversation will not be overheard. Translation: Wait, how I am ever supposed to know what the hell is going on around here if you can't shut up??
• If you overhear a private conversation, don’t repeat it. Better yet, pretend you never heard it. Translation: or put it on your blog
• Keep your private life private. Limit personal phone calls to your lunch hour and breaks. Translation: That means you 'mister-I-am-building-a-house so I have to spend 3 hours a day on the phone with contractors'
• Turn your cell phone off or take it with you when you leave your cube. Translation: Your co-workers don’t want to listen to it ring Christmas music in April.
• Respect other people’s space: Wait until your neighbor is off the telephone before approaching the cubicle. Translation: Go back to your cube and send them a million IMs wondering when they will be free... much less annoying.
• When your neighbor looks busy, don’t interrupt. Translation: Someone has to work around this place.
• If you talk ‘over the wall’ without checking your neighbor’s availability. Translation: yeah, you might be talking to yourself and pissing everyone around you off.
• Respect your space: Find a place for your things and put them where they belong. Take some time to clean up after yourself so your cube is presentable. Don’t disturb your neighbors with renovations: reorganize your cubicle after hours or on a weekend. Translation: Or just wait 6 months until they re-org the cubes again. Then you can pack up all your shit and move it somewhere else, if the movers don't toss it out for you.
• Working parents please plan for childcare. Your coworkers might enjoy children, but a nursery in the cubicle next door makes it hard to be productive. Translation: keep your stinky rugrats away from me! If I wanted kids around me, I would have had them by now.
• Be aware of smells, snacking, and screen savers. You might like the aroma of favorite cologne or food and crunchy snacks, but your neighbor might find it offensive. And if your screen saver makes noises, you might drive your neighbor out of his or her cube! Translation: No one wears Drakkar any more and neither should you, sexc1.
• Finally, if you are sick, please stay home until you are past the contagious period. Translation: I don't have kids to contaminate me, why should you! and if you are still hacking up a lung after three freaking weeks... GO TO A DOCTOR!

ZOBMONDO!!

Would you rather....

Forget everyone else's name all the time

----OR----

have everyone forget your name all the time?

I think I would have people forget my name. I am pretty good with remembering names....