New ones in red....
#12 - If all else fails, hit the ground and start flailing.
#41 - Why don't fortune cookies give actual fortunes anymore
#70 - Whenever someone says "Fire at Will", does Will get a royalty check??
#91 - Beware of anyone who overuses the word "paradigm"
#95 - Picking a scab early may leave a scar, but it sure is fun.
#96 - Making the bed: Not fun. Messing it up again: Fun
#101 - Why do all unusual meats taste like chicken?
#113 - Thre's no monster under the bed. He's in your closet tonight.
#116 - Replacing someone's parachute with a bag of canned goods is not funny. Ok, it is.
#117 - A first date is not the place to mention you've done time.
#127 - Happiness is a brand new pack of Dentyne Fire
#131 - Why is it that the more you spend of dinner, the hungrier you are when you leave the restaurant?
#132 - Making faces in the mirror is one of life's great secret pleasures.
#136 - Much worse than tennis elbow is video game butt.
#147 - Everyone practices one-upmanship. But I am better at it than you.
#156 - You can't really call TV characters at phone numbers that begin with "555"
#158 - Surfing used to be done in the water. Now it's done mostly at work.
#159 - Open your eyes when you kiss - if you get caught, what can they say?
#162 - Try this: To get someone to keep talking - nod your head and say "Really?" a lot.
#163 - If a candy bar says "Now with real chocolate" what were you eating before?
#168 - Sticks and stones may break my bones, but rug burn really hurts.
#169 - The muumuu has yet to realize its full potential as a fashion trend
#171 - My vacuum cleaner is dusty - what should I do?
2 comments:
I like these. I may have to use some of them
Loving it!
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