Dentyne-ism

New ones in red....

#1 - Take the path less traveled (but bring plenty of underwear.)
#4 - Why don’t aliens ever kidnap normal people?
#7 - Tall people may be taller, but they always get rained on first.
#12 - If all else fails, hit the ground and start flailing.
#14 - The beauty of a vibrating phone goes beyond silence.
#18 - Beauty is in the eye of the forgiving.
#19 - Don’t date someone who says they need to be “selfish right now"
#22 - Whoever said the chase is half the fun has never been caught.
#26 - Love is blind, but lingerie is still a good thing
#27 - Why is “abbreviated” such a long word?”
#28 - Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
#31 - How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you’re on.
#32 - All signs point to yes.
#34 - For a more intense workout, whack a beehive with a bat.
#38 - How is it that every movie that comes out is “The Best Movie of the Year”?
#41 - Why don't fortune cookies give actual fortunes anymore
#70 - Whenever someone says "Fire at Will", does Will get a royalty check??
#81 - Mint is said to be a good mouse deterrent. You’re on your own against hyenas.
#85 - If you’re scared, just whistle. If that doesn't work, run.
# 90 - Just when you thought all hope was lost, along came the Macarena.
#91 - Beware of anyone who overuses the word "paradigm"
#92 - Why do people call their advice “two cents” when it’s usually worthless
#95 - Picking a scab early may leave a scar, but it sure is fun.
#96 - Making the bed: Not fun. Messing it up again: Fun
#101 - Why do all unusual meats taste like chicken?
#102 - If you aren't tall, rich, or smart, then funny may be your best shot.
#104 - If your life had a soundtrack, would it be played by and orchestra or a band of accordions?
#111 - The scenery was nice, but the road was a little curvy
#113 - There's no monster under the bed. He's in your closet tonight.
#116 - Replacing someones parachute with a bag of canned goods is not funny. Ok, it is.
#117 - A first date is not the place to mention you've done time.
#121 - Life is like the protective cup a man wears when playing sports, sometimes it gets sweaty and uncomfortable, but if you get kicked in the nuts you are glad you didn’t forget to wear it.
#127 - Happiness is a brand new pack of Dentyne Fire
#131 - Why is it that the more you spend of dinner, the hungrier you are when you leave the restaurant?
#132 - Making faces in the mirror is one of life's great secret pleasures.
#135 - Why do bad guys always flee upstairs to the roof.
#136 - Much worse than tennis elbow is video game butt.
#138 - Instead of saying cheers, make something up and say it's foreign.
#142 - Don’t cut the pineapple with the a broken knife, or the knife will turn into Woodstock ‘69
#147 - Everyone practices one-upmanship. But I am better at it than you.
#152 - Want to see the world? Just look down. That’s it right there.
#154 - Think about this, EVERYONE thinks they look good then they leave the house
#156 - You can't really call TV characters at phone numbers that begin with "555"
#158 - Surfing used to be done in the water. Now it's done mostly at work.
#159 - Open your eyes when you kiss - if you get caught, what can they say?
#160 - I dare you to chew a few pieces of Dentyne Ice and then drink some very cold water
#161 - Corduroy underwear: Never had a chance.
#162 - Try this: To get someone to keep talking - nod your head and say "Really?" a lot.
#163 - If a candy bar says "Now with real chocolate" what were you eating before?
#168 - Sticks and stones may break my bones, but rug burn really hurts.
#169 - The muumuu has yet to realize its full potential as a fashion trend
#171 - My vacuum cleaner is dusty - what should I do?